Troubled Kid(need advice)

[Peelz]

raptor doodz... need your thoughts on something.. for real-too long for chatz.

its a post about a young soccer player under my tutelage, so lets just assume I already know the nonsense youre going to say about the sport, so save that for next time this is more about the human condition.

My philosophy on the sport is. "Get more kids playing better, with a passion for it" not just because moms want to hang out and have starbucks while they talk $hit about other moms(common). 

The club I coach for, is a traveling, higher level system. Not cutthroat or anything, but higher expectations, more drive. Usually, before the season, there is a "teaming" day, which is a tryout of sorts. But, Not to cut kids out, but to place them with the correct age groups, divisions etc, for their development.

With that in mind, heres the story:

We held the teaming in June. Roster was set... all ready to go late July.  Got my Finalized roster last week(training started this last monday) , brand new kid on my list! (Wtf lol Ive already contacted everyone and had a team/parent meeting). very young for my age group. Parents names dont match his name..so I expect some drama, it may be petty but i mentally prepare for stuff like that. Ill be honest, Parents suck sometimes.....  well. This kid shows up.. And is Probz the worst behaved child Iv'e ever had the opportunity to coach. (i have had some bad ones) Day one, 20 minutes in.... ripping off practice jersey in frustration, "i'm not good, nobody passes me the ball, nobody likes me" says kids are making fun of him. I heard Banter.... very minimal, appropriate for 11yr old boys. Walked off the field 5 times. The assistant coach, ran one drill, which was just a warmup leg stretch, the kid refused to listen. -he gave up :/

The boys on my team are pretty talented, my son included, but they work hard for it. During Some 1 on 1 drills, my boys were just taking him down(as I would expect-full effort). 5 times this kid ripped of his kit and walked away. I took a few of them aside and asked them to chill, not embarrass the new kid.

-would you do this, or let nature take its course-if he quits he quits? on a coach level, i can understand just letting it go.... but on a human level I am in a Struggle.

by day 3 he was better but still very bad. head butting goal post because kick went astray.... calling out other boys, tattling on them for innocent banter(i was listening)..... ugh. BUT, I got a fist bump out of him at the end, like he had fun....


Now, why im struggling... After day one practice, he must have went home upset... Got email from mom warning me about him... actually turns out NOT mom.  Mom died, and, dad is in prison. THis is his guidance counselor, and together with the principal of his school, they are raising him. Eff....feel horrible.  I hate when people give up on or hurt kids for their own agendas....I wnat to help this kid.

So type of advice i'm lookin' for... How to balance the extra care this kid will require, without affecting the other kids' development. We are not a "Winning is all" type of club. But if its not important, why are we here even playing at all....amiright?     How much help is too much.

When this kid gets put into his first ISL league match next weekend, hes going to get absolutely demolished. and its going to hurt. If he pulls even half the rage he had from practice, Im going to have to yank him....

we've all had this experience of being outclassed, its life, its what drives us. (think peels first time he rolled his bashed up 3 mod 660 from shithole iowa to the dunes and got dusted lol) 

But really...if I have a chance to push a kid down a positive path, and I dont try...ill feel responsible for helping his demise.



mostly, just venting... so thanks for listening. 

[Hefe]

man... this one is tough... let me stew

[Peelz]

man... this one is tough... let me stew

it is, Im probably over-focusing on it... but I cant help it.

giving me heartburn. 

[Hefe]

the problem (in my head) is you can't let the kid drag down the rest of the kids who DO try hard and have done all the right things..
but still... kicking him to the curb just is wrong on so many levels

[Krandall]

Maybe it's worth having a chat with the 'parents'. And giving them the power to make the decision. Is there another soccer league? Maybe it's too high of a place and there's a community one? But at the same time.. of he goes there it's just gonna be another soccer coach who may not give a damn. As in 'not my problem'. It's a tough spot peelio and one that I think could be a potential lose/lose. Final parting thoughts. I say it's worth the extra effort on your part. If it doesn't then out..  you know you did all you could. But if for some reason it turns around. That's something money can't buy ya.

[Peelz]

the problem (in my head) is you can't let the kid drag down the rest of the kids who DO try hard and have done all the right things..
but still... kicking him to the curb just is wrong on so many levels

Maybe it's worth having a chat with the 'parents'. And giving them the power to make the decision. Is there another soccer league? Maybe it's too high of a place and there's a community one? But at the same time.. of he goes there it's just gonna be another soccer coach who may not give a damn. As in 'not my problem'. It's a tough spot peelio and one that I think could be a potential lose/lose. Final parting thoughts. I say it's worth the extra effort on your part. If it doesn't then out..  You know you did all you could. But if for some reason it turns around. That's something money can't buy ya.

exactly where am with it...both of ya. Worth it, to a finite extent. Honestly, should have been our beginners "Academy" league first...Club admin dropped the ball though and just blindly entered it.  now, I fear, If I drop him down, that's another hit...ya know? And It isn't about talent, either.

Did Get an email from Mom (guardian) thanking me for my support, saying "that's exactly what he needs"..... but its Just natural to me....when hes throwin' a fit... grab him by the shoulder, walk his ass back to the drill area and say shit like "cant get better if you don't try" Mon-Wed, i have a club coach helping. so those days I can focus on him. then Thursday, i can do things my way see if I can get him to gel.

Also, found out they'll miss first set of games. so Ill have an extra week to work with him, so well see. thought about chatting with them, double checking they MEANT to put him at this level... because there is also the regular 4000000000 kids rec league that plays every weekend....

[Peelz]

my son was barfin all night... so he wont go to practice today. But ill be going to check on him get the staff coach started. He seemed to be better Monday, but still  a little standoffish and quick to rage BUT didn't need my full time attention.

fingers crossed thats a sign there's a chance to fix it.

[Magz]

hope your son gets better,

[Peelz]

hope your son gets better,

hell be fine. probably ate too much junk food and stayed up too late fortniting with his buddies.   

tomorrow is first day of school. I need him to rest.

[Magz]

"where are we dropping, BOYS?"     

you slackers our kids started school like 3 weeks ago.........

[Peelz]

"where are we dropping, BOYS?"     

you slackers our kids started school like 3 weeks ago.........

LOL

he actually missed today. Poor Kid ralphin all night... 

[Hefe]

ours start on the 27th

[Peelz]

COlin feelin better today, hell get to play in first game....


also, my new kid I think ive pushed him just the right amount. seems to be out of his shell, conversing with the other kids... no more freakin out. I little issue here and there, but not so disruptive now. skill-wise, hell still lag, but not embarrassingly, and his temper has waned. A couple issues with needing immediate reinforcement after doing something.... but other kids are like that..... 

[Hefe]

good to hear!

[Peelz]

He's better...but Saturday is our first tournament. 3 matches.  I know.... Winning doesn't matter, but, i mean. it does a little, why tf else would we do it... its a tournament.   

Had a few issues last two days of training. Doesn't listen when you try to correct him. Then gets it right once and calls out other players. Not good.  I'm worried for him. But at the same time, I wont tolerate disruptive behavior. And I think it might go pretty bad when he gets his first taste of real competition.    

policy is, I have to give him 10 minutes of continuous play.