Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Peelz]

After a relaxing bath... Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself, nude in a mirror.

Her frustration over her lack of ability to lose weight, was depressing her.. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on GERD for help.

'GERD... If you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to
you,' She prayed. And just like that... her ears fell off.

bwaaaaahaaaaaaahaaaaa

[Busby]

*Cooling Off*

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very
hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.
Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped
in the water.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while
enjoying their 'freedom.' As they were crossing an open area, who should
come along but a group of women from town. Unable to get to their
clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and
the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather
than his privates.

The rabbi replied, 'I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's
my face they would recognize.'

[BRAD]

good one busby

[kyledvor61]

*Cooling Off*

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very
hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake.
Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped
in the water.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while
enjoying their 'freedom.' As they were crossing an open area, who should
come along but a group of women from town. Unable to get to their
clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and
the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the
minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather
than his privates.

The rabbi replied, 'I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's
my face they would recognize.'

holy shit thats awesome and so true

[Busby]

The train was quite crowded, so a Redneck U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle.

The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.'
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honor! This American should be put in his place!'

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window.'

"GERD Bless America !!!" 

[Busby]

[dragonz]

There is a medical distinction.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but
do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to
keep you
informed to alleviate further confusion, the following
definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the
guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

BALLS - when she see the lipstick on your shirt collar, slapping her on the ass & saying "& YOU'RE NEXT"

[Busby]

BALLS - when she see the lipstick on your shirt collar, slapping her on the ass & saying "& YOU'RE NEXT"

if I remember rightly there is a joke with that ending

[Busby]

  nice set Dung  +1

[Busby]

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked him.
"Because I pissed in its ear & it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!!" the teacher exlaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

[dragonz]

BALLS - when she see the lipstick on your shirt collar, slapping her on the ass & saying "& YOU'RE NEXT"

if I remember rightly there is a joke with that ending

Just finishing off what you had started

You defined guts, I defined balls..................
Was all supposed to be a part of the same joke.
Wherein the world you hangin at?

[Krandall]

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
"How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked him.
"Because I pissed in its ear & it didn't move," answered the child innocently.
"You did WHAT?!!" the teacher exlaimed in surprise.
"You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."

[Busby]

author=dragonz Wherein the world you hangin at?

I am in the Asylum Seekers & Freeloaders Paradise (UK) but hoping to relocate to CT, I looked back at the joke I posted and didn't copy all of it LMAO good call bro 

[Colorado700R]

author=dragonz Wherein the world you hangin at?

I am in the Asylum Seekers & Freeloaders Paradise (UK) but hoping to relocate to CT, I looked back at the joke I posted and didn't copy all of it LMAO good call bro 

And you gonna move to the Peoples' Republic of Conneticut? 

[Peelz]

author=dragonz Wherein the world you hangin at?

I am in the Asylum Seekers & Freeloaders Paradise (UK) but hoping to relocate to CT, I looked back at the joke I posted and didn't copy all of it LMAO good call bro 

Freeloaders paradise?

Why would you ever leave?

And...why Connecticut?