Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Hefe]

that was soooo not funny

[Peelz]

I laughed out of pity 

[Hefe]

same reason we talk to funyun?

[Spartan]

Most definitely like that....

[Krandall]

After 30 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly and then said: "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.

She smiled happily and then asked, "What about I-J-K?"

He replied, "I'm Just Kidding!"

[dragonz]

After 30 years of marriage a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her slowly and then said: "A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous and Hot" he replied.

She smiled happily and then asked, "What about I-J-K?"

He replied, "I'm Just Kidding!"

........................And then the fight broke out 

[Magz]

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us ,also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and six children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind.
Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
--


Come on now...you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story...did you?

[Peelz]

L-O-L 

[Krandall]

A couple returned from their honeymoon not talking to each other. The husband's best friend finally takes him aside and asks what's wrong.

"Well," replied the new husband, "When we finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend: "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"

The groom nodded gently and said: "I don't know if I can get over this though. She gave me $20 change!"

[Krandall]

A beautiful woman found a lovely pool after wandering into an orchard. She decided to go skinny-dipping. She looked around, didn't see anyone, and undressed. Just as she was about to dive in, the orchard owner appeared from behind the bush where he was hiding all along and told her that swimming was prohibited.

"You could have told me that before I undressed!" she scolded him.

He smiled and replied, "Swimming is prohibited, undressing isn't."

[Krandall]

A guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and replies, "About two hours." The guy closes the door and leaves.

A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, "About two hours." Once again, the guy turns and leaves the shop.

A week later, the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and answers, "About an hour and a half." The guy walks out quickly.

The barber, curious, looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes."

A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop laughing. The barber asks, "Bill, where did the guy go when he left here?"

"To your house."

[Krandall]

A very flat-chested woman finally decided that she needed a bra and set out to the mall in search of one in her size. She entered an upscale lingerie store and asked the sales lady, "Do you have a size 28AAAA bra?"

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another lingerie store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third unsuccessful try at another store, she became very distraught. She left the mall and drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"

The clerk looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"

[Colorado700R]

Just got this from my Grandma.  It sounds like her

Hiding on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, a Massachusetts state trooper sees a car puttering along at 24 mph. He thinks to himself, "This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"

The trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that 24 was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before you go, Ma'am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken."

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 128."

[Geo]

 

[Magz]

[Today at 08:57:06 PM] Magz: hey bitches

[Today at 08:57:20 PM] Magz: i just saw a gay cockroach

[Today at 08:57:28 PM] Magz: want to know how i know he was gay?

[Today at 08:57:40 PM] Magz: it came out of the closet   

[Today at 09:02:17 PM] Magz: swoop out   

[Today at 09:14:29 PM] Mad Dog: whores?

[Today at 09:31:04 PM] Magz: sup md?

[Today at 09:31:08 PM] Magz: like my joke