Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

the semi-deaf genie.

[Spartan]

In-that case I want a million ducks..........

You already got a 12-inch bic... that's your one wish

[Magz]

I'm supposed to get 3 no?
next one is to motorboat some movies.......................

[Spartan]

Negative. I'm not the freaking genie from aladdin

[Krandall]

I'm supposed to get 3 no?
next one is to motorboat some movies.......................

You want an overcoat on boobies?

[Magz]

I'm supposed to get 3 no?
next one is to motorboat some movies.......................

You want an overcoat on boobies?

NOOOOOOOOOO!  this damm genie sucks...........i'm sticking to wishing starts from now on.

[Lady4Fiddy]

What do you call it when you get a bunch of homo's together? 



A Raptor Rally!

AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!                

[Krandall]

[devious700rSE]

I'm supposed to get 3 no?
next one is to motorboat some movies.......................

You want an overcoat on boobies?

why not just wish for a genie that can hear???

NOOOOOOOOOO!  this damm genie sucks...........i'm sticking to wishing starts from now on.

[Spartan]

I'm supposed to get 3 no?
next one is to motorboat some movies.......................

You want an overcoat on boobies?

why not just wish for a genie that can hear???

NOOOOOOOOOO!  this damm genie sucks...........i'm sticking to wishing starts from now on.

 

[Krandall]

A woman walks into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Hunting flies," he responds.

"Oh, killing any?" she asks.

"Yep, three males and two females," he replies.

Intrigued, she asks: "How can you tell them apart?"

"Easy," he replies: "Three were on a beer can, and two were on the phone."

[Lady4Fiddy]

 

[Krandall]

Two buddies are sitting at the bar in a singles' club and talking about another guy at the other end of the bar.

"I don't get it," complained the first guy: "He's not good-looking, he has absolutely no taste in clothes and he drives a beat-up wreck of a car yet always manages to go home with the most beautiful women here!"

"Yeah," replies his buddy: "He's not even very good conversationally. All he does is sit there and lick his eyebrows."

[Spartan]

Got this in my email today:


It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Christine. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Christine to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work and although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out twice is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.
I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Christine. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will even find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older...

However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other...
Signed,

Jim

EDITOR'S NOTE:

Jim died suddenly on May 27 of a perforated rectum. The police report says he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club jammed up his rear end, with barely 5 inches of grip showing and a sledge hammer laying nearby. His wife Christine was arrested and charged with murder. The all-woman jury took only 15 minutes to find her Not Guilty, accepting in her defense that Jim somehow, without looking, accidentally sat down on his golf club.

[Krandall]

A man walks into a bar in rural Kentucky and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up and eyes him suspiciously. The bartender looks up and says: "Where you from, stranger?"

"I'm from New York City," the man says nervously.

"And what do you do there?" the bartender asks menacingly.

"I'm a t-taxidermist," the man stutters.

"A taxidermist? Now what the heck is a taxidermist?" the bartender demands.

The man replies: "I mount animals."

The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar: "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"