Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Flynbyu]

 shady-looking guy sticks his head into a barbershop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looks around the shop and says, "About two hours." The guy smiles and leaves.

The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "Hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Bill comes back into the shop.

"Bill, where did he go when he left here?"

"To your house."

~Brian

[Krandall]

 

[Flynbyu]

Oxymorons:

Act naturally

Happily married

Microsoft Works

Holy war

Found missing

Resident alien

Minor Catastrophe

Affordable housing

Near miss

Great depression

Canadian army

Phone sex

United nations

Advanced BASIC

Genuine imitation

Death benefits

Airline Food

Women's rights

Good grief

Same difference

Almost exactly

Sensitive man

Government organization

Everything except

Civil War

Good kid

Sanitary landfill

Alone together

Legally drunk

Silent scream

British fashion

Living dead

Small crowd

Business ethics

Soft rock

Butt Head

Military Intelligence

Software documentation

New York culture

New classic

Sweet sorrow

Childproof

"Now, then"

Synthetic natural gas

Christian Scientists

Passive aggressive

Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Peace force

Extinct Life

Temporary tax increase

New and improved

Computer jock

Plastic glasses

Terribly pleased

Computer security

Political science

Tight slacks

Definite maybe

Pretty ugly

Twelve-ounce pound cake

Diet ice cream

Rap music

Working vacation

Exact estimate

Religious tolerance

Freezer Burn

Honest Politician

Jumbo Shrimp

Loners Club

Postal Service

~Brian

[Krandall]

Computer security 

[Flynbyu]

I knew you would appreciate that.

~Brian

[Flynbyu]

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and
said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."


"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

~Brian

[Flynbyu]

Q: How do you get a faggot to f*ck a woman?

A: Pack her vagina full of shit.

Q: What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

A: Einstien's cock.

~Brian

[Danny T]

Q: How do you get a faggot to f*ck a woman?

A: Pack her vagina full of shit.

Q: What's the smartest thing to come out of a woman's mouth?

A: Einstien's cock.

~Brian

lmao at both of those

[kyledvor61]

Einsteins cock

[Krandall]

  @ the blonde one!

[disco]

Larry gets home late one night and, Linda, his wife says, 'Where in the hell have you been?'

Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo.'

'A tattoo?' she frowned.. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

'I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,' he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking?! She said, shaking her head in disgust.   'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill Tattooed on his privates?'

Well, One, I like to watch my money grow.  Two, once in a while I like to play with my money.  Three, I like how money feels in my hand.   And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want.

Larry is recovering in room 232 at the Hospital

[Krandall]

  awesome!

[disco]

As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door.

Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again.

All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light..

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.

He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says.... "Hi, my name is Mark, it's winter in Pennsylvania and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

[BRAD]

good one man

[Krandall]

  Awesome!