Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Peelz]

Here's one for the nerds.....

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?



A: Pumpkin Pi!

~Brian

Guess I am a nerd. I am dyin'!

[Flynbyu]

I thought it was funny too.

~Brian

[Krandall]

Here's one for the nerds.....

Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?



A: Pumpkin Pi!

~Brian

Guess I am a nerd. I am dyin'!

+1 I thought it was hillarious....

My wife just gave me a blank stare.

[Peelz]

I told some of my employees.  Got the "thousand yard stare" as well.  Then they just all walked away quietly. 

[FoundArealQuad]

Maria is a devout Catholic.  (No condoms for her!)  She gets married and has 17 children...and then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later...and has 22 children by her second husband. She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens, and says, "At last...they're finally together." A man standing next to him asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"

"No," the priest says politely, "I mean her LEGS."

[Peelz]

great joke!

[BRAD]

good one man

[blueyamaha]

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget ...





This particular Sunday sermon...'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

[Krandall]

 


Butt Dust. 

[FoundArealQuad]

 

[robkd]

What sits out on your lawn all summer long and is irish?

Patty O' Furniture..............(stupid irish jokes)

[Colorado700R]

Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, Brian Williams and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists in Iraq ..

The leader of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets.

Katie Couric said, 'Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.' The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken.  Couric ate it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'

Charlie Gibson said, 'I'm living in ' New York , so I'd like to hear the song, The Moon and Me, one last  time.'
The terrorist leader nodded to another terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was satisfied.

Brian Williams said, 'I'm a reporter to the end.  I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.' The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Williams dictated his comments.  He then said, 'Now I can die happy.'

The leader turned and said, 'And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?
'Kick me in the ass,' said the Marine
'What?' asked the leader, 'Will you mock us in your last hour?'
'No, I'm NOT kidding.  I want you to kick me in the ass,' insisted the Marine.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.  The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies and shot the leader dead.   In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists,then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took, sprayed the
rest of the terrorists killing another 11. In a flash, all of them were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him, 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place?  Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass?'

'What?' replied the Marine, 'and have you three asshole's report that I was the aggressor...?

Semper Fi!

[Lady4Fiddy]

good one   

[Krandall]

 

Nice Aaron 

[kyledvor61]

  nice