Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Busby]

The brand new editions of you know you're a redneck when...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized, because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood, and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation, because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

(*** Hope everyone is doing good***)

[FoundArealQuad]

 

[Peelz]

Holy $hit! It's busby...the wanker!      funny post brutha, did you move here yet?

[kyledvor61]

 




busby is that you?!

[dragonz]

*The NZ troops in Afghanistan proved they have retained their sense of
humor, one of them sent this. "YOU MAY BE TALIBAN IF...

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't
afford shoes.

3. You have more wives than teeth.

4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."

5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.

7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your
clothing.

8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting
off roadside bombs.

9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

Sure some of these may have been posted before,
but always a good laugh

[Out Back Welding]

  lol

[BRAD]

good one dragonz

[Krandall]

A woman was shaking out a rug on the balcony of her 17th floor condominium when a sudden gust of wind blew her over the railing. "Damn, that was stupid," she thought as she fell. "What a way to die."
As she passed the 14th floor, a man standing at his railing caught her in his arms.
While she looked at him in disbelieving gratitude, he asked, "Do you suck?"
"No!" she shrieked, aghast.
So, he dropped her.
As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to GERD for one more chance. As luck would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamed in panic.
"Slut!" he said, and dropped her

[BRAD]

good one krandall

[socalrappy700]

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the  point that visibility was almost

Zero when the petite blonde got off work. She  made her way to her car and

Wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat  in her car while it warmed up

And thought about her situation. She finally  remembered her daddy's advice

That if she got caught in a blizzard she should  wait for a snowplow to come by

And follow it. That way she would not get stuck  in a snowdrift. This made

Her feel much better and sure enough in a little while  a snowplow went by and

She started to follow it. As she followed the snowplow  she was feeling very

Smug as they continued and she was not having any problem  with the blizzard

Conditions. After an hour had passed, she was somewhat  surprised when the

Snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her  car and signaled for

Her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to  know if  she was

All right as she had been following him  for a long time. She said that she was

Fine and told him of her daddy's advice  to follow a snowplow when caught in a

Blizzard. The driver replied that it was  ok with him and she could  continue

If she wanted, but he was  done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was  going

Over to  Sears next.

[BRAD]

  good one Socal

[Krandall]

 

[FoundArealQuad]

Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".

[Out Back Welding]

awwww thats messed up

[Busby]

MORNING SEX                   

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.
He walked in; She turned and said, You've got to make love to me this very moment."
His eyes lit up and he thought, "This is my lucky day."
Not wanting to lose the moment, he embraced her and then gave it his all; right there on the kitchen table.   
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, he asked, "What was that all about?"
She explained, "The minute egg timer is broken."

(**** Yes guys it is me I just haven't been on the PC alot latley as I have been hammering away on my XBOX360, Peels you wanker no I haven't moved yet I am still stuck in the shitty UK I probably won't be moving for about a year but as soon as I do I will let you all know    )