Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Spider/Paleface513]

Hey what y'all  doin next saturday,theres a benefit for legless women,there will b pussy crawling all over the place!!!

[Magz]

lol   

[Hefe]

that was kinda funny

[Magz]

it was really funny.
i could imagine me going there to get some........

[Hefe]

you like that shit?

[Busby]

  thats funny I will have to remember that one.

[Krandall]

A man walked up to a farmer's house and knocked on the door. When a woman opened the door, the man asked if she knew how to have sex. Not amused, she slammed the door. Again, the man knocked, and again asked the same question. Again, not amused, she screamed: "Get the hell away!"

Later, she told her husband of the incident. He said he would stay home the following day just in case. Sure enough, the next day the same man returned. The husband hid with his gun while the lady answered the door. When she was asked again if she knew how to have sex, she said: "Yes."

The man replied: "Great! Give some to your husband the next time you see him, and tell him to stay the hell away from my wife!"

[Hefe]

[Hefe]

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas, and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher says, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there," as he points out the location.


The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me."  Reaching into his pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher.  "See this badge?  This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land.  No questions asked or answers given.  Have I made myself clear?  Do you understand? "


The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.


A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull...







With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety.  The officer is clearly terrified. The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs...






"Your badge... Show him your BADGE!"

[Krandall]

AWESOME!

[Krandall]

A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more.

"I'm sorry," says the pharmacist: "we don't have any."

"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?" the pharmacist asks.

"Yes!" the blonde replies: "I'll go and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks at it and says: "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

[Krandall]

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up after he had prescribed testosterone for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing.

"Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid that you're giving me too much,"she said: "I've started growing hair in places that I've never grown hair before."

"A little hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone," the doctor reassured her: "Just where has this hair appeared?"

"On my testicles."

[Krandall]

Q. What's the difference between a new wife and a new dog?

A. After a year, the dog's still happy to see you.

[Hefe]

and you still like the dog

[Krandall]

A dim-witted blonde was visiting a famous museum when she knocked over a vase, which smashed on the ground. An attendant rushed over, aghast.

"That vase," the attendant said: "was over 500 years old."

"Oh, thank GERD!" said the blonde: "I thought it was a new one."