Off Topic Bullsh*t Thread Volume XXIV

[Krandall]

The other really good one I read:

What is the laziest thing you've ever done?

Late to the party but this one is too good to pass up:
I was once on a US military ship, having breakfast in the wardroom (officers lounge) when the Operations Officer (OPS) walks in. This guy was the definition of NOT a morning person; he's still half asleep, bleary eyed... basically a zombie with a bagel. He sits down across from me to eat his bagel and is just barely conscious. My back is to the outboard side of the ship, and the morning sun is blazing in one of the portholes putting a big bright-ass circle of light right on his barely conscious face. He's squinting and chewing and basically just remembering how to be alive for today. It's painful to watch.
But then zombie-OPS stops chewing, slowly picks up the phone, and dials the bridge. In his well-known I'm-still-totally-asleep voice, he says "heeeey. It's OPS. Could you... shift our barpat... yeah, one six five. Thanks." And puts the phone down. And then he just sits there. Squinting. Waiting.
And then, ever so slowly, I realize that that big blazing spot of sun has begun to slide off the zombie's face and onto the wall behind him. After a moment it clears his face and he blinks slowly a few times and the brilliant beauty of what I've just witnessed begins to overwhelm me. By ordering the bridge to adjust the ship's back-and-forth patrol by about 15 degrees, he's changed our course just enough to reposition the sun off of his face. He's literally just redirected thousands of tons of steel and hundreds of people so that he could get the sun out of his eyes while he eats his bagel. I am in awe.
He slowly picks up his bagel and for a moment I'm terrified at the thought that his own genius may escape him, that he may never appreciate the epic brilliance of his laziness (since he's not going to wake up for another hour). But between his next bites he pauses, looks at me, and gives me the faintest, sly grin, before returning to gnaw slowly on his zombie bagel.

[Peelz]

A: I grew up with the mexican community, that is how most of them are. They are glad to be here, and have the opportunity, and they work for it. Nobody talks about that. mofos work their asses off doing the stuff we wouldn't. No migrant workers=no tomatoes, peaches, cherries, strawberries...etc and Ketchup!

B: I feel the same as the poster about people stranded on road sides...... Biker=I stop.  Think about that on road trips....

not really a hitchhiker picker upper though.  Though I did let one ride in the back of my truck for 20 miles once. But I had face to face contact with him at a gas station, seemed respectful... dont have a real aversion to it, but every other time iv'e seen one, kids with me. Dont feel comfortable there.

[Peelz]

What is the laziest thing you've ever done?

thats pretty amazing. 

hmmm. ive done some pretty lazy stuff.... usually involving throwing shit away, because I don't wanna go through it. 

[Krandall]

Educational and hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs

[Peelz]

Educational and hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs

good news!

cooler weather, the floor is no longer lava. 

[Krandall]

WEATHER UPDATE!

[Peelz]

I thoroughly enjoyed that.

[Krandall]

that onion vid I posted earlier:

This is my wife's little cousin, his father actually stood up for me in our wedding. If you knew his dad you would understand how prepared he was for everything. It really was a suprise for Johnny's birthday and he couldn't believe that his dad (who had passed from an unexpected heart attack about two months before) had one last suprise for him on his birthday. His sister had just posted the videoon facebook so the rest of the family could see his reaction and it blew up pretty fast. Johnny gets lessons once a week and playing guitar in his band is everything to him. I actually suprised him with Alice Cooper tickets for him and I to go later in the year. Just such a happy thing for Johny in such a rough time.
Edit: Wow my post blew up just like the video did. Sorry it took so long to update everyone, I'm not able to use my phone at work and just got home. My wife and I are going over to his house now to give him the tickets and read these amazing comments together.


P.S. His dad was one of my groomsmen in my wedding, that's what I meant by "stood up for me".
P.S. #2 Thanks for the gold kind stranger that's a first for me.
P.S. #3 I've seen some people mentioning a meet&greet with Alice Cooper, that would sent him over the moon, any ideas on how I could help make that happen for him?
Edit #2: We are with him now and he sends a huge thanks for all the birthday and well wishes. We are having a great time reading through all the comments and he is hoping Alice sees this as well.
Edit #3: I forgot to include the huge huge thank you for the donations for the lessons and can confirm that the Music Store owner has been in close contact with Johnny and his family.
Edit #4: Proof for the people commenting and sending PM's http://imgur.com/a/4MwDD




check this:
Hey guys, Nita from Alice Cooper here.
Just messaged /u/Pete_Kruse to let him know that I'll take care of passes for John to come backstage and say hi to Alice and the band at our show. I watched this video a bunch of times earlier today before I even knew he was coming to a show, and sent it to a bunch of guitar player friends... such an amazing moment!! Can't wait to meet John and the family!! <3




there's some awesome people out there. 

[Peelz]

that onion vid I posted earlier:

This is my wife's little cousin, his father actually stood up for me in our wedding. If you knew his dad you would understand how prepared he was for everything. It really was a suprise for Johnny's birthday and he couldn't believe that his dad (who had passed from an unexpected heart attack about two months before) had one last suprise for him on his birthday. His sister had just posted the videoon facebook so the rest of the family could see his reaction and it blew up pretty fast. Johnny gets lessons once a week and playing guitar in his band is everything to him. I actually suprised him with Alice Cooper tickets for him and I to go later in the year. Just such a happy thing for Johny in such a rough time.
Edit: Wow my post blew up just like the video did. Sorry it took so long to update everyone, I'm not able to use my phone at work and just got home. My wife and I are going over to his house now to give him the tickets and read these amazing comments together.


P.S. His dad was one of my groomsmen in my wedding, that's what I meant by "stood up for me".
P.S. #2 Thanks for the gold kind stranger that's a first for me.
P.S. #3 I've seen some people mentioning a meet&greet with Alice Cooper, that would sent him over the moon, any ideas on how I could help make that happen for him?
Edit #2: We are with him now and he sends a huge thanks for all the birthday and well wishes. We are having a great time reading through all the comments and he is hoping Alice sees this as well.
Edit #3: I forgot to include the huge huge thank you for the donations for the lessons and can confirm that the Music Store owner has been in close contact with Johnny and his family.
Edit #4: Proof for the people commenting and sending PM's http://imgur.com/a/4MwDD




check this:
Hey guys, Nita from Alice Cooper here.
Just messaged /u/Pete_Kruse to let him know that I'll take care of passes for John to come backstage and say hi to Alice and the band at our show. I watched this video a bunch of times earlier today before I even knew he was coming to a show, and sent it to a bunch of guitar player friends... such an amazing moment!! Can't wait to meet John and the family!! <3




there's some awesome people out there. 

this is YOUR wife's little cousin? or.... just quoting a post?

either way.. thats rad AF!!! 

I welcome any kind of good news as of late

[Hefe]

he quoted the post... I went through and read a bunch of comments.... very cool shit!

[Peelz]

side note: you know. if I ever were to meet alice cooper... theres NO way I could get out of there without making him do his waynes world line.

its pronounced mill-e-wok-ay it's Algonquin, for the good land.

[Krandall]

Sorry, I should have mentioned. Ya, all from a reddit post. Pretty sweet!
and TOTALLY peelz.. I'd have to do the "We're not worthy, we're not worthy"

[Peelz]

Sorry, I should have mentioned. Ya, all from a reddit post. Pretty sweet!
and TOTALLY peelz.. I'd have to do the "We're not worthy, we're not worthy"

do you think..... like fans do that every day, and he gets tired of it? 

oh well too bad Alice. deal with it.

[Hefe]

Who's Alice Cooper .... is she pretty?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kslzzWD9IPk

[Peelz]

Who's Alice Cooper .... is she pretty?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kslzzWD9IPk

thats hysterical