Kids say the damndest things....

[Peelz]

thats right!..
and how did such a funny thread filled with cute things our kids say turn so wrong?

Randy did it

[Krandall]

pretty sure it was hefe........

[Peelz]

OK lets go with it. 

[Krandall]

[Hefe]

pretty sure it was hefe........

the true effects of Randy visiting your wife a few years ago

sonofabitch! .. it was me!

[Krandall]

Thankgiving, I got a good lil' lol from my cousins 3 year old daughter.


they brought their dog over, super nice, and she was telling me about her dog.. She then proceeded to tell me that she has some cats at home as well...

"wandy..... I have 2 titties at home."

Uh, what was that?

"I have 2 titties at home"



my cousin was lol'in, so I was asking her inappropriate questions. It was good

[Hefe]

creepy....

[Krandall]

creepy....

inappropriate as in.. getting her to say kitty.. fuk

[Peelz]

thrown in shout, forgot how funny...

We were in Menards the other day... creepy old man comes right up to my kids.... digs these mini flashlights out of his pockets.... they said "jesus saves" on em....

Aidan, now 9, just stares and stares at it... like "WTF"

"jesus saves what?" 

"just tell the nice man thank you, Aidan"

love my kids.

[Magz]

Lol cant blame them for wanting a complete sentence.

[Peelz]

Sunday, I worked my A$$ off gettin the house nice for the holiday week, have lots of company coming in... pressure washed all the siding, edged all the sidewalks blah blah blah I was tired.... got super late forgot to eat dinner

SO i grabbed my youngest and ran to Mickey d's... on the way back, hes diggin in the bag eatin all my delicious fries...about halfway home I say "boy get yo hand out mah dang ole fries!!! why you eatin em all?!!!"

he says "BECAUSE I CAN!!!! THIS IS MERIKA! DANGIT!"

He is 6. what have I created?   


******

Also, I was changing out an old outlet, it was worn out, plugs falling out. plus the color was dingy lookin...

so I was teaching my oldest how to work on electricity in the house... flipped off breaker tested.... I needed him to pull the outket tight while I snugged up the wire... so I taught him the old "if you see dad tensing up and teeth chattering, that means Im gettin electrocuted" I need you to tackle me" speech He just looks at me all frightened...

so I'M on the last wire, concentrating, trying to get done....he pinches my shoulder, then yells "ZZZAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP" then tackles me. 

freaked me tha hell out.

f**kin love my kids. twisted little bastages. I am pretty sure I am giving them horrible senses of humor.

[Colorado700R]

LOL  ZAP!!!!!

[Krandall]

ZZZZZZZAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP



some day the world will fear the monster I will have created.

[Peelz]

ZZZZZZZAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP



some day the world will fear the monster I will have created.

pretty much.

I fear that humor will drive their actions, and when everything is funny, whats to stop yopu?

[Peelz]

I will title this post "Honesty does not always pay off"

Last night, I did not feel like cooking, so we hopped in mommas new ride, and booked it to the nearest chinese buffet. Upon entering, there is a price list of age groups for buffet.

kids 1-3 free
kids 3-5 3.25.
kids 6-11 6.50
adult 9.00
senior 7.50

I wink at the missus and say: "Ok, Colin's 5 then right? she winks back"
We sit down. FULLY Chinese waitress "whuh you chill-ren want for dee-ner? How old"?

Nichole says "10....and 5..." Colin, NOW 7, mind you, pauses for a few seconds, then looks up from his waaay outdated chinese Zodiac calendar placemat, glares at his mom and YELLS: "I am NOT 5, you KNOW I am 7 mommy I'm in first grade!"

shit

split second, im thinking "hmm do I play it off as an accident? or do I pound my fist like a scorned redneck and say "Dammit boy youre 5 if I say youre 5"

my wife beats me to the punch. " oh my goodness, not sure what I was thinking...I must be getting old he IS 7"

Waitress face never changed(well she is asian, thats how they are) stonefaced...no humor, im nearly busting a gut.


morale of this story: If youre gonna try and swindle a chinese buffet, have family meeting before hand.

Little bastard cost me 3 dollars and 25 cents.