Kids say the damndest things....

[Gunz]

Ok soooo we're out eating last nite and I ask my son about a particular Valentines day card he got. It said "I love you". I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said yeah. I says "whats her name" and replies. I mention somethin else and he leans over and says "Dad shes HAWT, like Megan Fox hawt." I was like alrighty then. He told me he had broke up with is other girlfriend because "They weren't compatible" I was like WTF, your only 8 years old. Dude I swear he's an 18yr old trapped in a 8yr olds body.


Some of you have met my little genius, he's great ain't he...

[Lady4Fiddy]

That's hilarious Mike!   

[Gunz]

We went to the mall yesterday, it's been awhile by the way. My wife and I were looking at one of those phone kiosks with all the cell phone accessories and behind me I hear my son yell out "LOOK,,, M-A-L-L C-O-P! BAWHAHAHAH" I turn around and sure as shit there is a mall cop on a sedgeway and cruisin through traffic. I about shit myself. Again he laughs out  "It's Paul Blart Mall Cop"... I busted up laugh'n. I never knew those guys were rock'n sedgeways, I thought it was just for the movie. You know it's bad when you are try'n to be a professional and you here an 8yr old make fun of you as you roll by....

[Peelz]

Mike's the type of guy who wants to chew all on my bubblegum....

Last night, Colin was gassy, he kep yelling "I FARTED!!!" so we were teaching him more polite ways to announce this.

Taught him to say "I FWOATED AN AIR BISCUIT!!!!!"

now he won't stop. 

karma to first person to remember which 80's movie that came from!

[Gunz]

Weird Science...duuuuh

[Krandall]

never heard of it. but that's hilarious!

[Peelz]

Weird Science...duuuuh

karma delivered as promised.


"you're stewed buttwad!"

[Lady4Fiddy]

So this morning I am putting my facial moisturizer on my face and my 3 year old son walks in and says:

"Mom... why do you always put that stuff on your face?" I said: "because it keeps mommy's skin looking young."

He then says: "Mom... I don't think it is working!"   

My 4 year old daughter then yells at him and says: "Michael!!! Mom is beautiful and she is not fat anymore so be nice!!!   

I just got  by my 3 year old and I am discontinuing use of that moisturizer. 

I wonder how much micro-derm abrasion costs?   

[Peelz]

kids...so honest... love it!

[Krandall]

[Gunz]

              

[Gunz]

8yr old again.... Last nite at the restaurant I stole some of the boys french fries off his plate and he said "Heeey I got a french fry you can eat", I looked at him sideways for a sec and thought he doesn't know what he said. So I let it go. I take about of my chicken and he says, "It might take you a while though". I look at the old lady and just bust out laugh'n, little shit knew exactly what he was saying. bawhahaha.....

...... So about 20 minutes later, we leave, and we're walking across the parking lot and he runs and punches right square in the butt and holler's out "Butthole punch", I started laugh'n again and he comes running at me again and starts scream'n "Freeeeench Fryyyy Puuuunch". If there was any doubt in my head from earlier that he may not of known what he was saying, he had just confirmed it......

[Gunz]

Ooooh and my wife was telling me about him about something he said after Kung Fu practice.... She said they were driving back and he said, "I got a boner" My said she took a double look at him and she said "What?" he said "I must be thinking about boobies".... He was obviously cracking a joke, but I for the life of me can't understand how he got this "guy sense of humor" at such a young age.

.... I swear people I don't know were he gets it from.

[Krandall]

[Peelz]

we went out to eat with some friends who have been trying really hard to have a baby. And just found out they were expecting.. As we were pulling up, they were getting out of their car. Aidan says "Ima gonna tell Melanie she is getting fat. Cuz that happens when you get pwegnant"   SO I correct him. "well, daddy, it's true she is gonna get fatter"

touche' aidan.  kids are just unfiltered adults.