Kids say the damndest things....

[Peelz]

A thread for us grownups old bastards... Post up the crazy stuff you have heard your kid say.

Last night, my parents bought my 6 year old son a bow and arrow. He said he wanted to shoot my niece with it. Mom asked him why, he said "because she has no penis"


Standing at IHOP the day I left for the rally holding my 2 year old, I am inches away from people eating. My 2year old rips one right on my arm. and says SUPER LOUD: "I farted on your arm daddy. and it stinks" forks go down all around us. 

[Nick]

A thread for us grownups old bastards... Post up the crazy stuff you have heard your kid say.

Last night, my parents bought my 6 year old son a bow and arrow. He said he wanted to shoot my niece with it. Mom asked him why, he said "because she has no penis"


Standing at IHOP the day I left for the rally holding my 2 year old, I am inches away from people eating. My 2year old rips one right on my arm. and says SUPER LOUD: "I farted on your arm daddy. and it stinks" forks go down all around us. 

lol. those made my morning! 

[Colorado700R]

Last night, Micheal (3) and Ariel (4) were being a bit rambunctious before dinner, so I told them angerly to "clean up these toys, and be quiet!!!"

......they smiled and replyed in unison, "Aye, Aye, Capt'n!!" 



DAMN YOU SPONGE BOB!!!!

[Peelz]

Barnacles!

I love spongebob.

[Krandall]

  spongebob FTW!

[Gunz]

Wow, this going to be a great thread, my son is a natural ass clown.

[kyledvor61]

Wow, this going to be a great thread, my son is a natural ass clown.

incest is not the answer.


and im full of shit like that. make my dad speechless 

[Hefe]

my nephew, age 4
while grabbing his junk..
(Grandma) "Jeremey, you have to go potty?"
(Jeremy) "No Gramma, I'm just making it bigger"

[Peelz]

my nephew, age 4
while grabbing his junk..
(Grandma) "Jeremey, you have to go potty?"
(Jeremy) "No Gramma, I'm just making it bigger"

!!!!!

I'm gonna try that move.

[Hefe]

same kid..(age 4)
Easter Sunday about 11am
house full of relatives old and young
(Jeremy's mom) Honey, go wake up your Uncle Dennis..
(Jeremy) *at the top of his lungs* "Uncle Dennis... Get your fucking ass outta bed"
(everyone there) *dead silence*

[Krandall]

ERMAHGERD. 

[Peelz]

Love it HEFE!

Aidan 6years old now.

At about 3, he got battery powered 4x4. Think "stompers" from the 80's

Dumped his Lincoln Logs on his floor, and set the truck at the bottom. It cleared the whole thing, he says:

"holy shit, did you see that shit Daddy, that was the coolest shit ever!"

<proudest moment ever!>

Exactly like us riding quads!

[Hefe]

this one is from Casey
Most of you who went to the SL rally will Remember Casey and his kids
anyway.. the little boy.. Hunter
I could write a book on the shit he says!


Yesterday Hunter Stepped in Sadie (the dog) poop 3 times and about an hour later he said "Dad what day is it?" I said "Thursday" he responded  "Oh I thought it was Hunter steps in poop day"

[Gunz]

Today my son told my wife that he hates his glasses. My wife told him that she thought guys with glasses were cute. My son comes back with a "So you have a crush on Charles?" Charles is one of my salesman at work.



A few months ago my wife came in to the room and screamed at me about something and said "I want a divorce". My 7yr old son, without missing a beat said (with a crack in his voice and a grin on his face) "Does that mean I get a new stepdad?" I busted out laugh'n, the wife got even more pissed.

[Gunz]

2 seconds ago: My son just woke up and he was walking into the living room. My wife is sitting in the recliner with her computer on her lap and here comes my son. He walks right up to her, stops, hikes up his ass a little bit, and cuts a huge morning fart right in her face.  H-I-Larious!!