Fact O' The Day

[Hefe]

[Today at 01:18:32 PM] 4gunz4x4z: Penis is great

Fact: Gunny thinks Penis is GREAT!

[Krandall]

 

[Colorado700R]

Cuttlefish are chronic maturbators- They only stop to eat, or if they have any enegy left...to mate.


Brian's new nickname is therefore "Cuttlefish"

[Krandall]

 

[Lady4Fiddy]

50 Facts about Men

by Rita Rudner

1. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

2. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

3. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

4. Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the "nice" of bald.

5. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.

6. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates really hard, he can help his team. If his team is in trouble, he coaches the players from the living room. If they are really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.

7. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.

8. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

9. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.

10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.

11. The way a man looks at himself in the mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.

12. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to KNOW.

13. Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

14. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow instead of a gun.

15. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

16. Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

17. All men hate to hear "We need to talk." No matter what the subject is, these seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Norman Schwarzkopf.

18. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log doesn't burn, he will take it personally.

19. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

20. All men think they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.

21. Men do not get cellulite. Another point for g-d possibly being a man.

22. Men have an easier time shopping for a bathing suit. Women have two types: Depressing and More depressing! Men have two types: Nerdy and Not Nerdy.

23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in the winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

24. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say "Oh, my g-d, I'm so embarrassed. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo!"

25. Most men hate to shop. That is why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

26. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.

27. If you are dating a man who you think might be Mr. Right if he only: a) got older b) got a new job or c) visited a psychiatrist, you are in for a rude awakening. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.

28. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get looser, baggier and longer.

29. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

31. When four or more women get together, they talk about men.

32. Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

33. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie The Way We Were twice, voluntarily.

34. Most women are introspective. "Am I In Love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

35. If a man says "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't FORGET... he didn't LOSE your number... he didn't DIE! He just didn't want to call you.

36. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes. But not with each other."

37. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of the sight of women.

38. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.

39. Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: "Mitch, you look great." Mitch: "Thanks." On the other side, "Ruth, you look great." Ruth: "I do? Must be the lighting."

40. Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping Network.

41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

42. Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.

43. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.

44. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

45. When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume his clothing has shrunk.

46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause: you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

47. Men forget everything. Women remember everything.

48. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened.

49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.

50. All men would still really like to own a train set.

[Colorado700R]

10. All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.  :'( :'(



18. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log doesn't burn, he will take it personally. U DAMN Skippy

19. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.  AMEN




23. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in the winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore. 


30. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. And Quads


33. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie The Way We Were twice, voluntarily.  That would be considered torture.....it's in the geniva convention


37. Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do it out of the sight of women.


41. Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.  They swallow, see Phil for example

46. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause: you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles. SWEET!!

49. Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

50. All men would still really like to own a train set.  So!!!  :'(

[Krandall]

'Solar eclipses occur because of a stroke of galactic and symmetrical good luck. '

In a solar eclipse, the moon moves in front of the sun and blocks it out with seeming perfection, and it works this way by luck: the sun is 400 times larger than the moon, and it is also 400 times further away from Earth. The gorgeous consequence, as noted by Discover Magazine's LeeAundra Temescu, is that both the sun and the moon appear to be the same size in our sky. Without this symmetry, a total solar eclipse as we view it wouldn't be possible.

[Gunz]

Fish fart.....

It's a fact

[Lady4Fiddy]

Fish fart.....

It's a fact

Best fact ever Gunny!   

[Colorado700R]

Boobs are awesome

[Krandall]

'In MLB history, just 22 players have hit an "Ultimate Grand Slam."'

In pro baseball, an "Ultimate Grand Slam" is a walk-off grand slam that gives the home team a 1-run victory. Roger Conner hit the first such grand slam in 1881 off Lee Richmond, and Jason Giambi hit the most recent one off Mike Trombley in 2002. Babe Ruth and Ron Lolich have hit the only ultimate grand slams in extra innings, and Roberto Clemente's 1956 ultimate grand slam is the only one that was also an inside-the-park homer.

[Krandall]

'Contrary to what's seen on TV, defibrillating paddles don't restart a stopped heart.'


We see on TV a person on who's flatlined, then the medical pros slam him with paddles from a defibrillator ("Clear!") and suddenly his heart starts up again. However, defibrillators don't work like that. They are used on a person having a heart attack (there are many ways to have a heart attack) in an effort to bring a heartbeat under control, i.e. slow it down or defibrillate it (stop it from twitching irregularly). The only way to restart a heart that has stopped beating is through certain drugs like epinephrine.

I did not know that!

[Krandall]

'IMAX is short for Image Maximum. '

First developed in 1967 in Canada, the IMAX technology premiered with the first IMAX film, a short titled Tiger Child at the Fuji Pavilion at EXPO '70 in Osaka, Japan. Today the company has 371 IMAX theatres in 43 countries, although two-thirds of them are located in North America. The bulb used in an IMAX projector is bright enough to be seen by residents of the International Space Station if pointed in their direction.

[Colorado700R]

russ is a lurkin' sumbitch lately

[Krandall]