Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Peelz]

So little Billy walks into his mom and dads bedroom and see mom and dad going at it. Dad winks at Billy and smiles.

2 days later Billys dad is looking for his son at his moms house. He walks into his moms room and finds Billy going at it with his grandmother. Billy winks at his dad and says "How do you like it when someone is doing it to your mom"?

L-to tha-O to tha muthafukkin-L

[Krandall]

Little Billy came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his father came home, Billy said: "Dad, our rooster's dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"

His father thinking quickly said: "Son, that's so GERD can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."

"Gee Dad, that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling: "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"

"What do you mean?" asked the father.

"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming: 'Jesus, I'm coming, I'm coming!' If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"

[Peelz]

ERMAHGERD

[Krandall]

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. When he finally gets himself to the doctor, he says: "How bad is it, Doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."

"I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight," the doctor replies: "It should be OK next week."

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little four-sided bandage, and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl and proceeds to get married. On his honeymoon night in the hotel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he had seen them and she says: "You'll be the first, no one has ever touched these breasts."

Not to be outdone, he whips down his pants and says: "Look at this, baby, it's still in the crate!"

[dick-84]

LMFAO!!! 

[Krandall]

A man came down with the flu and was forced to stay home one day. He was glad for the interlude because it taught him how much his wife loved him.

She was so thrilled to have him around that when a delivery man or the mailman arrived, she would run out and yell: "My husband's home! My husband's home!"

[Krandall]

Two friends are having a drink. The first friend asks: "If I went to your house while you were at work and got your wife pregnant, would that make us related?"

"I don't know about related," the second friend replies: "but it would definitely make us even."

[Colorado700R]

Two friends are having a drink. The first friend asks: “If I went to your house while you were at work and got your wife pregnant, would that make us related?”

“I don’t know about related,” the second friend replies: “but it would definitely make us even.”

That was a private conversation Effer!!

[Krandall]

Doug is talking to his friend at the bar: "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She already has everything and she can afford to buy anything else she wants."

"I have an idea," his friend says. "Make a certificate saying she can have 60 minutes of great sex, any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled."

Doug decides to take his friend's advice. The next day, his friend sees him at the bar again and asks: "Did it work? Did she like it?"

"Oh yes, she loved it," Doug replies: "She jumped up, kissed me on the forehead and ran out the door yelling, 'See you in an hour!'"

[Lady4Fiddy]

Why do married men gain weight while single men don't?

A single man goes to the refrigerator, sees nothing that he wants, and goes to bed.

A married man goes to bed, sees nothing he wants, and goes to the refrigerator.

No wonder Aaron is gaining weight!

[Peelz]

el oh el

[Spartan]

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password.
Something he will use to log on.

The husband was in a rather humorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife what he was keying in.

"P, E, N, I, S, "

His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

**** PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH*****

[Magz]

There were once two brothers called William and Wayne. Will was 12-years-old and his little brother was three.

The neighbors noticed they always went around together. If William went down to the ballpark, his little brother would toddle along behind him. And when Wayne went to playgroup, his older brother would come and sit there with all the toddlers.

One neighbor thought this was really strange, so one day he leaned over the fence and asked the boys' mother why they were so inseparable, even though they had nothing in common.

"Well," the mother replied, "Didn't you know? Where there's a Will there's a Wayne."

CORNY HUH!

[Magz]

There were too little twin boys who were given up for adoption. There names were Amal and Juan. The birth parents worked it out with the foster parents that they would get updated pictures of their kids every 6 months. Well 6 months go past and the birth parents are sent a picture of 1 kid, and on the back it said "Juan. 6 Months" So they decided to call the Foster parents to see if they could get a picture of Amal. All the Foster mom could say was, "Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

[Magz]

Or the one about Jose, the Mexican baseball fan in the 1950's whose dream was to see his favorite team, the Milwaukee Braves, in the World Series. He spent days riding his burro to Milwaukee, only to find out when he got there that he couldn't find a ticket available anywhere. Dejected, he was heading out of the parking lot when a cop saw him and asked what was wrong, and he told his story. "Well," said the cop, "the base of the flagpole here is located outside the stadium. I bet if you climb up the pole, you'll be able to get a great view of the game without a ticket." He thought this was a great idea, climbed the pole, and watched the game. Afterwards, he ran into the same cop, who asked him how it went. "Great!", he replied, "and EVERYONE in the entire stadium was so polite to me! To the point where, at one point before the game, everyone in the entire stadium stood up, turned to me, and asked, 'Jose, can you see?'"