Off Topic Bullsh*t Thread Volume XXIV

[Spartan]

That sucks...did you call out "candy cane, are you there?"

[Colorado700R]

That sucks...did you call out "candy cane, are you there?"

[Krandall]

Today's Highlights in History

On Sept. 7, 1940, the German air force began its blitz on London during World War II.

On Sept. 7, 1860, Grandma Moses, the famous American folk painter, was born. Following her death on Dec. 13, 1961, her obituary appeared in The Times.
   
On September 7, 1861, Harper's Weekly featured a cartoon about the recruitment of Union servicemen during the early months of the Civil War.



On this date in:

1533    England's Queen Elizabeth I was born in Greenwich.

1822    Brazil declared its independence from Portugal.

1927    TV pioneer Philo T. Farnsworth succeeded in transmitting an image through purely electronic means by using a device called an image dissector.

1963    The Pro Football Hall of Fame was dedicated in Canton, Ohio.

1977    The Panama Canal treaties, calling for the United States to turn over control of the waterway to Panama, were signed in Washington, D.C.

1979    ESPN made its cable TV debut.

1986    Desmond Tutu was installed as the first black to lead the Anglican Church in southern Africa.

1990    Kimberly Bergalis of Fort Pierce, Fla., came forward to identify herself as the woman who had been infected with AIDS, apparently by her late dentist. (She died the following year.)

1996    Rapper Tupac Shakur was shot on the Las Vegas Strip; he died six days later at age 25.

1998    St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire equaled Roger Maris' single-season home run record as he hit No. 61 in a game against the Chicago Cubs.

2006    Former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage confirmed he was the source of a leak that disclosed the identity of CIA employee Valerie Plame, saying he didn't realize Plame's job was covert.

2008    Troubled mortgage giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were placed in government conservatorship.





Current Birthdays

Actor Michael Emerson ("Lost") turns 56 years old today.

86    Daniel Inouye
U.S. senator, D-Hawaii

80    Sonny Rollins
Jazz saxophonist

61    Gloria Gaynor
Singer

59    Chrissie Hynde
Rock singer (The Pretenders)

59    Julie Kavner
Actress ("The Simpsons," "Rhoda")

56    Corbin Bernsen
Actor ("L.A. Law")

54    Michael Feinstein
Pianist

41    Angie Everhart
Model, actress

40    Tom Everett Scott
Actor

37    Shannon Elizabeth
Actress

23    Evan Rachel Wood
Actress ("Across the Universe")

Historic Birthdays

Grandma Moses

9/7/1860 - 12/13/1961
American folk painter
(Go to obit.)

69    Elizabeth I
9/7/1533 - 3/24/1603
English queen (1558-1603)

85    William Butterfield
9/7/1814 - 2/23/1900
English Gothic Revival architect

58    Ferdinand Hayden
9/7/1829 - 12/22/1887
American geologist

75    John Morgan Jr.
9/7/1867 - 3/13/1943
American banker and financier

43    Elinor Wylie
9/7/1885 - 12/16/1928
American poet and novelist

77    Dame Edith Sitwell
9/7/1887 - 12/9/1964
English poet

84    Taylor Caldwell
9/7/1900 - 8/30/1985
American novelist

83    David Packard
9/7/1912 - 3/26/1996
American engineer; cofounder of Hewlett-Packard Co.

76    Sir Anthony Quayle
9/7/1913 - 10/20/1989
English stage and screen actor and director

22    Buddy Holly
9/7/1936 - 2/3/1959
American singer and songwriter

[Krandall]

1996    Rapper Tupac Shakur was shot on the Las Vegas Strip; he died six days later at age 25.



He's livin on the island w/ Elvis!

[Colorado700R]

Considered posting this in the joke thread.....unfortunately it's not a joke

A DC  'airport ticket agent' offers some examples of  'WHY' our country is in trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.  (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Cape Town.  I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information,  and then he interrupted me with,  ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid,  but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ..''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,  ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts ,  Cape Town is in South Africa .''
His response -- click..

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did.  I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando .  He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.  I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''  (ERMAHGERD)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,  ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said,  ''No.''

She said,  ''But they look so close on the map''  (ERMAHGERD, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas ..  I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas ...  When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,  ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.''  (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.  She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,  and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.  Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''  I said,  'No, why do you ask?'

He replied,  ''Well, when I checked in with the airline,  they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT),  and I'm overweight.  I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing).  I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii .  After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10 Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11 Mary Landrieu, La. Senator, called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China .  After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa.  "Oh,
no I don't.   I've been to China many times and never had to have one of
those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.  When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12 A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino,  New York .''

I was at a loss for words.  Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply?  ''Whatever!  I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

[Krandall]

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.  She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,  and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones.  Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

[Peelz]

He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''  (ERMAHGERD)


outstanding...seriously..way to go.... worst part is:

we vote for them...

[Krandall]

didn't see any minnesota senators on there... but... we DO have Franken...

[Mad Dog]

Cute and humorous Aaron, but like most of the stuff passed around on the net, completely lacking in credibility or truth.

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

[Krandall]

I'm still going to believe they are all real.

thanks anyways mad dog.

[Peelz]

Cute and humorous Aaron, but like most of the stuff passed around on the net, completely lacking in credibility or truth.

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

hater

[disco]

Cute and humorous Aaron, but like most of the stuff passed around on the net, completely lacking in credibility or truth.

http://www.snopes.com/travel/trap/congress.asp

hater

Beat me to it, I was gonna say party pooper!   

I had a dispatcher at work years ago running me ragged.  Boss talked to me and said if I was late to another pickup I wouldn't be able to keep that position.  He asked what was the problem.  I pulled out a log and showed him the times received and the addresses of the pickups.  I was bouncing back and forth across town in traffic.  He talked to  the dispatcher and asked if she had a map and any idea how far she was sending me.  She whips out her map, flips to the back page containing the whole city map and says yeah, I'm only sending him this far (thumb and finger a few inches apart).

Problem solved, I wasn't in trouble anymore. 

[Krandall]

[Peelz]

so ronery...so ronery

[Krandall]

Back!