talk about shitty luck

[UncleBeaner]

I heard this on the radio this morning and immediately snopsed it with no luck. It seems legit even though you must have the crappiest luck in the world to have this happen.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/di...us-conception/


Quote:
Oral conception. Impregnation via the proximal gastrointestinal tract in a patient with an aplastic distal vagina. Case report. [Ed. note: There is no abstract, so we're including most of the original article below. It's a bit long, but trust us--it's worth the read!]
"Case report:
The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries.
The girl had some minor lacerations of the left hand and a single stab-wound in the upper abdomen. Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days.
Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born...
...While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged.
The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings. 

CLIFFS NOTES: Girl gives boyfriend head. The girls ex catches them and stabs her. Current boyfriend's jizz dripped into the wound in her abdomen and impregnated her. (I know this is a horrible situation but I can't stop laughing! )

SIDE NOTE: Just found proof it's real.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3191066

[Lady4Fiddy]

There you have it... no more blow jobs...   

[Krandall]

Just plan around when you're gonna be stabbed..

you can give them but does that mean no more swallowing

sob.

[Colorado700R]

There you have it... no more blow jobs...    

Da FERK have you done BEANER!!!  



Now I'm going to   and then

[UncleBeaner]

ill take my chances

[UncleBeaner]

There you have it... no more blow jobs...    

Da FERK have you done BEANER!!!  



Now I'm going to   and then

maybe you meant while you ? you weirdo

[Colorado700R]

^^^ don't confuse me with Randy, Beano

[Lady4Fiddy]

There you have it... no more blow jobs...    

Da FERK have you done BEANER!!!  



Now I'm going to   and then

Well I guess we could always go in a different direction, I spit it in your mouth, you swallow, you become a world phenomenon.

[UncleBeaner]

[Colorado700R]

+1BAZZILIONMILLIONCAJILLIONGOOGLEILIAN

[Peelz]

W to the T to the F!

[preddy08]

W to the T to the F!

Aaron, you really need to take that pic of nikki down in your sig. I was reading her last post, and that poped up and gave me a pretty sweet mental immage

[Peelz]

W to the T to the F!

Aaron, you really need to take that pic of nikki down in your sig. I was reading her last post, and that poped up and gave me a pretty sweet mental immage

so we have drain babies, shower babies, knuckle babies...now we gotta worry about throat babies?

[preddy08]

In the imortal words of Peter Griffin.  Prom Night Dumpster Babbies 

[Peelz]

In the imortal words of Peter Griffin.  Prom Night Dumpster Babbies 

holy buckets!!!