Breaking News Thread Version 2.0

[Krandall]

LET rookie gets bitten by a Black Widow mid-round, plays through it to shoot 74
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/golf-devil-ball-golf/lpga-rookie-gets-bit-black-widow-mid-round-154429859--golf.html

For golfers, the only Black Widows we ever encounter is the occasionally soft spike lost on the driving range, but that wasn't the case with LET rookie Daniela Holmqvist.
The Swede was playing in a pre-qualifier for the Women's Australian Open in Yarralumla, Australia when she felt a sharp pain in her leg on the fourth hole. When she looked down, she saw a spider crawling off and immediately the pain became severe.
As someone who has looped over on the Australian links I can promise you that the one thing the place has is some nasty spiders, and the caddies immediately identified it as a Black Widow.
What happened next might make Holmqvist the toughest golfer in the world.
Via Svensk Golf ...
Her caddies told her that the venom from a Black Widow can sometimes kill a child in half an hour, so Holmqvist knew she had to act fast. With her leg swelling, Holmqvist reached into her pocket and pulled out a tee. She quickly cut open her skin and squeezed the venom out.
"A clear fluid came out," Holmqvist said. "It wasn't the prettiest thing I've ever done, but I had to get as much of it out of me as possible."
After she operated on herself with a golf tee, Holmqvist finished out her round, shooting a round of 74 that left her four shots out of qualifying, but still, she did this after getting bit by a Black Widow during her round!
Now I wouldn't consider myself Rambo or anything, but if there is one thing in this world I'm not messing with it's a spider (unless it's this Spyder which I have used a few times on the course). The fact that she was able to fight through this and post an incredible round of golf considering what she went through might make her our favorite rookie of the 2013 season.

[Krandall]

Get Pregnant Today, Get a Free Ikea Crib in 9 Months
http://gizmodo.com/5984227/get-pregnant-today-get-a-free-ikea-crib-in-9-month

Cheap people of Australia: run! Don't walk! To the nearest location where you can get pregnant. Ikea is doling out free cribs to babies born nine months from today.

The baby must come into the world on November 14, 2013. If that's your due date or if you get knocked up today or sometime in the next month, hold onto this coupon! Or convince your doctor to induce you on the 14th of November. Or eat a lot of spicy food that day. Whatever it takes. Unfortunately for Americans who are planning on a baby, this deal is only good in Australia. And unfortunately for any parent, Ikea cribs are only as secure as your assembling skills allow, which is to say they could be pretty hazardous. But hey, free crib!

[Peelz]

Get Pregnant Today, Get a Free Ikea Crib in 9 Months
http://gizmodo.com/5984227/get-pregnant-today-get-a-free-ikea-crib-in-9-month

Cheap people of Australia: run! Don't walk! To the nearest location where you can get pregnant. Ikea is doling out free cribs to babies born nine months from today.

The baby must come into the world on November 14, 2013. If that's your due date or if you get knocked up today or sometime in the next month, hold onto this coupon! Or convince your doctor to induce you on the 14th of November. Or eat a lot of spicy food that day. Whatever it takes. Unfortunately for Americans who are planning on a baby, this deal is only good in Australia. And unfortunately for any parent, Ikea cribs are only as secure as your assembling skills allow, which is to say they could be pretty hazardous. But hey, free crib!

genius 

too bad mah junk is defective 

[Krandall]

peels..

http://news.yahoo.com/video/drug-agents-swarm-reported-meth-203659348.html

[Peelz]

peels..

http://news.yahoo.com/video/drug-agents-swarm-reported-meth-203659348.html

Lmao! It was a joint venture with kamakazi and myself.

[Krandall]

Burger King twitter hacked.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jwherrman/burger-kings-twitter-account-hacked-and-switched-to-mcdonald

[Krandall]

Thank you Aaron
3 arrested in massive maple syrup heist
http://www.cnn.com/2012/12/18/world/americas/maple-syrup-heist/index.html


Fire up the griddle! Much of a huge cache of maple syrup snatched from a Quebec storage facility has been recovered, police say.
Three people have been arrested and five others are being sought in connection with the theft from a warehouse in Saint-Louis-de-Blandford, Quebec Provincial Police said in a statement Tuesday. The theft occurred between August 2011 and July 2012, police said.
Two-thirds of the syrup was recovered, according to a police statement. The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, which bills itself as keeper of the global strategic maple syrup reserve, said in August that up to 10 million pounds of the sweet stuff was in the warehouse from which the theft occurred but could not say exactly how much was missing. The total value of all the syrup in the warehouse was put at $30 million.
The theft was discovered during a routine inventory check of the warehouse, which "had been secured by a fence and locks, and visited regularly," federation president Serge Beaulieu said in a statement in August.
The barrels that originally contained the syrup were empty, meaning it was somehow transferred to other containers to complete the theft, the federation said.
Police said Tuesday that they had seized vehicles that were used to transport the stolen sticky stuff as well as carts, lifts, scales and kettles.
They said their investigation of the thefts covered the provinces of Quebec, New Brunswick and Ontario as well as the northern United States. Almost 300 people were interviewed as part of the investigation, police said.
As much as 80% of the world's maple syrup comes from Quebec, the federation says.



go to the link and check out the comments. 

[Peelz]

 

as much as we made fun of the black dudes that ripped off all them chicken wings...as being stereotypical...


you really cant much whiter than gankin a shitload of maple syrup 

[Krandall]

Mexicali Police Deflate Smugglers' Compressed-Air "Marijuana Cannon"
http://gizmodo.com/5987608/mexicali-police-deflate-smugglers-compressed+air-marijuana-cannon-scheme

Border fences are really tall so it's not like you can just throw your packages of marijuana over them. No, you'd need something like a weed-apult or, better yet, a weed cannon to heave them over the wall.

Police in Mexicali, a border town between Mexico and California, have reportedly confiscated a powerful compressed air cannon used by Mexican cartels to launch packages of weed over the border. The truck-mounted device is made of PVC piping attached to an air compressor and driven by an automobile engine. It could launch up to 13 kilograms of drugs over the fence at a time. And apparently was quite productive. The police were only tipped off to the device's existence after recently seizeing a large quantity of bagged drugs that looked like they'd been shot out of a cannon.

[Peelz]

 

look out punkin chunkers!!!!

we launchin buds!

[Mad Dog]

Piracy Policy Hijacks Your ISP

http://bgr.com/2013/02/28/six-strikes-anti-piracy-system-isps-348766/

[Krandall]

I was just reading about this last Wednesday. I'm excited to get a letter in the mail.

[Peelz]

I was just reading about this last Wednesday. I'm excited to get a letter in the mail.

LOL

do ye be a pirate?

[Krandall]

[Krandall]

An Idiot Counterfeiter Returned His Printer with a Sheet of Fake Hundreds Inside
http://gizmodo.com/5989816/an-idiot-counterfeiter-returned-his-printer-with-a-sheet-of-fake-hundreds-inside


It's one of the oldest tricks in the book; if you can't earn money, why not make it? With your printer. Now that doesn't actually work. Making counterfeit cash is really hard. But that won't keep idiots from trying it, apparently. A Wisconsin man took it a step further though, by trying to return his copier/printer with failed copies still inside.

Jarad S. Carr was arrested last week after an altercation at a Walmart returns desk when he tried to return his printer—presumably because it was not good at printing money—without a receipt. Had he left it there, things might have been OK, but he pushed the matter, and on inspection, employees found a sheet of poor imitation hundreds packed in with the device.

The police were called and eventually Carr was arrested, but not without putting up a fight. And when the cops put him down, they found an addition $300 in homemade money on him. His buddy, who was dumb enough to come along for the ride, is still out there somewhere, probably trying to print a drivers license on an inkjet. But to the pair's credit, at least neither whipped out a fresh, crisp million.