Breaking News Thread Version 2.0

[Lady4Fiddy]

Dolla Dolla bills y'all

[Krandall]

http://www.truecrimereport.com/2010/01/robert_jenkins_arrested_for_pe.php


When heading off to jail, it's best to commit a crime that will provide you with a manly story to tell your fellow inmates, something a little more desperado-like than, say, knee-capping a rival figure skater. Working as a hired gun for the Mafia always sounds good...

Armored car heists always have a nice ring to them. And even if you're not quite up to something this ambitious, you can still trot out the old resisting arrest.

Unfortunately, Robert T. Jenkins now sits in jail with probably the worst criminal tale ever. He was arrested at a Walmart in Canton, Ohio for peeing on steaks. Yes, you heard that right.

Cops were called to the store after Jenkins simply walked up to the meat counter, pulled out his manly apparatus -- which we hope isn't capable of reproduction -- and begin peeing on the steak selection.

No one seems to know why he did it, unless he was practicing a bold new form of marinating.

The poor dope supposedly ruined $600 worth meat. (Be careful, Canton area shoppers. This being Walmart, there's a good chance they simply hosed them down and put them back on display.)

Jenkins has been charged with felony vandalism and disorderly conduct.

[funyun]

You serious? You would get MAD rep for that

[Peelz]

Steak marinated in <--- likes the taste of pee yum

guarantee walmart repacked and threw it on discount endcaps

lol

[disco]

We had a guard at work that, for reasons only known to him, took a leak in one of the ice machines.  Luckily one of the car washers saw him and said something.  They locked up the machine and had the ice company haul it off. 

[disco]

Don't know how true but I like it!

Pennsylvania Pol Lobbies for 'State Gun'

http://www.newser.com/story/79442/pennsylvania-pol-lobbies-for-state-gun.html

(User Submitted) – Every state has its official symbols, from the state flower of Texas (the bluebonnet) to the state drink of Wisconsin (milk). Now state senator Pat Browne wants Pennsylvania to be the first state to have an official state firearm. The Lehigh County Republican is sponsoring a bill that would give the honor to the Pennsylvania Long Rifle.

Supporters of the move say the measure is a celebration of history and a Pennsylvanian contribution to America's independence, the Harrisburg Patriot-News reports. But opponents find the idea outrageous, given that the state's cities are scarred by gun-related crimes.

[Krandall]

No doubt the Air Force purchasing department gets some odd requests from time to time, but we'd love to have seen the grin on the face of the officer tasked with procuring some 1,700 Playstation 3s for a USAF facility in Rome, NY.

Before you complain about your tax dollars being spent on toys, the machines aren't for gaming. Instead, the facility -- an Air Force research lab -- will join them into a parallel-computing cluster that, when complete, will number well over 2,000 PS3s.

The supercomputer -- snappily monikered "500 TeraFLOPS Heterogeneous Cluster" -- will be put to work playing 2,000 simultaneous games of GERD of War III. Wait, no. Among other things, they'll be attempting to simulate the way the human brain processes information and how it pulls off the remarkably difficult task of recognizing the content of images.

"Humans can routinely do these things, but a computer struggles to do it," the facility's computing director Mark Barnell told Stars and Stripes. "In a general sense, we are interested in making it autonomous."

The cluster won't be as powerful as a regular supercomputing rig, but it will be cheaper and more environmentally friendly: it'll consume as much as 95% less electrical power and shut down unused machines when the cluster isn't running at full capacity.

[dragonz]

Steak marinated in <--- likes the taste of pee yum

guarantee walmart repacked and threw it on discount endcaps

lol

Woulda charged extra, afterall it's marinated now!

[disco]

This will be some of us in a few years

Sledder, 62, Hurt When Improvised Rocket Blows Up

http://www.myfoxdetroit.com/dpp/news/local/self-made-rocket-explodes-strapped-to-michigan-man%27s-back

NDEPENDENCE TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) -- A 62-year-old sledder looking for a burst of power got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body.

The man is in good condition and is expected to be released from the hospital.  His identity hasn't been released.

The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called "a rocket-launch effect."

The device blew up as the man headed downhill, causing second-degree burns to his face and right side of his body and possible eye damage.

No charges have been filed against the man, whom McCabe says is known for doing "outrageous things" at his sledding parties.

[Krandall]

Talk about a sweet sledding party!!

[Colorado700R]

Male Date-Drug


Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.

Many females use a date-drug on the market called 'Beer ' .

The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.

A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad' occurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship' . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam afterBeer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know.

If you fall victim to this 'Beer ' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.

For the support group nearest you, just look up Raptor Source on the internet.

For a video to see how Beer  works click here:


Beer Demo <http://www.brackenspub.com/beer.swf> 

[funyun]

If I take one more drank im gunna end up....

[Krandall]

 U.S. and allied commanders in Afghanistan are preparing for the biggest battle of the eight-year war, knowing that its outcome will reveal the chances of success for President Obama's revamped Afghan strategy. About 20,000 U.S., British and Afghan troops will soon storm Marja, the Taliban's final redoubt in the southern province of Helmand. A town of 80,000, Marja has for years been a den of narcotics traffickers and insurgents, serving as a launching pad for roadside bombs and suicide attacks. If the U.S. and its allies succeed in driving out the Taliban - and, perhaps more importantly, bring a measure of security to Marja - U.S. officials believe it will mark a turning point in the war.

The battle has actually been under way for several weeks, as Afghan and Western forces have announced their plans to the local population while moving into position. Pentagon officials say this unusually public "shaping" of the battlefield has one key goal: while hundreds of hard-core Taliban are hunkering down for a fight, many more, along with thousands of residents, have fled Marja until the dust settles. That should limit civilian casualties and, they hope, lure some lukewarm Taliban over to the government side. "We're not interested in how many Taliban we kill," Army General Stanley McChrystal, the top U.S., commander in Afghanistan, said Thursday. "We'd much rather have them see the inevitability that things are changing and just accept that." (See pictures of the new U.S. offensive in Afghanistan.)

But U.S. and Afghan officials know that die-hard Taliban forces have been burying hundreds of improvised explosive devices around the town in recent weeks. "It's giving time and space to those who want to fight to dig in," says Ali Jalali, who served as Afghanistan's first post-Taliban Interior Minister and now works with the Pentagon's National Defense University in Washington. "It could be very bloody, and that could affect public opinion in Europe and the U.S."

The effort to roll up Marja follows last summer's sweep through much of Helmand, which drove many additional Taliban into the town. While there weren't enough troops to take the town at that time, the growing ranks of Afghan security forces and some of the additional 30,000 U.S. troops ordered to Afghanistan by Obama in December have given commanders the ability to storm Marja, U.S. officers say. While last year's offensive was largely a U.S.-led affair, this time Afghan forces will account for about half of the troops involved. Operation Moshtarak - "Together" in the Afghan Dari language - is meant to signal growing cooperation between Afghan and foreign forces, and the Afghans' ability to shoulder more of the burden of defending their country. "The Afghan forces all have Marine haircuts right now," McChrystal noted of the local troops preparing to storm the town alongside U.S. Marines. (See pictures of challenges British troops faced in Helmand.)

The offensive, when it begins in earnest, will largely be conducted on foot. That's because the terrain surrounding Marja is latticed with canals built by the U.S. a generation ago to expand agriculture to 250,000 acres in the Helmand River valley. It also gave the region the nickname "Little America." The canals and ditches created a network of bridges unable to support armored vehicles and gives the Taliban good places to hide IEDs - the top killer of U.S. troops in Afghanistan - and snipers. They also turned the region into lush farmland that has proven ideal for growing opium-producing poppies.

Both sides predict the fight for Marja could be brutal, with belts of IEDs believed to be buried along all major approaches to the town. Unlike earlier battles over towns and villages further east, where many Taliban are from Pakistan, the enemy in Marja is largely local, which will further complicate the fight. "It's harder to separate the enemy from the people," a Pentagon planner says, "when they are the people." (See pictures of the battle against the Taliban.)

But it's what follows the fighting that will be the real test. While many in Marja detest the Taliban, they are just as angry at the impotence of the Afghan government to better their lives despite years of promises. U.S. officials say Afghan President Hamid Karzai, some 500 miles from Marja in Kabul, has become a full partner in the planning of the offensive and its follow-up development efforts. Afghan and U.S. experts will flood Marja after the offensive, helping to set up local government and schools, and offering cash to entice poppy growers to shift to wheat. After driving the Taliban out, Afghan and allied troops plan on staying in Marja to ensure its security. The Taliban will have little recourse once the offensive begins. Instead of fighting to the death, U.S. officials believe some of them will melt into the local population to fight another day, while others will flee to fight elsewhere.

As McChrystal prepares to launch the offensive, he's got one eye on Marja and the other on the calendar. If he and his forces prevail, it will serve as the template for the far more challenging battle this summer for the Taliban capital of Kandahar, about 100 miles to the east. Success in Kandahar, Afghanistan's second largest city, would mean that McChrystal is on track to achieving Obama's ultimate goal: to start sending U.S. troops back home in July 2011.

[Colorado700R]

nothing like the element of suprise.......dumbasses

[Krandall]

That's kind of what I was thinking, but... still..

if they do a night mission..

Night Vision goggles vs candles.