Eating Shit!!!

[Colorado700R]

We all do it.....

We all wipeout, some (like me) do it more than others.

It's not that you just ate shit, but did you eat shit with style




Post up you latest adventures in quad carnage..


I'll start...


12 hours.....12 frickin' hours we drove to get to St. Anthony's to ride the dunes.  We get there bout 5:30 pm, bolt the new $25 ( ) flag onto my quad and head out.

We're cruisin' around behind Thunder Mountain and the sand is silky smooth.  It's like surfing, no bumps, no ruts, just floating....

Me and my buddy Phil are jamming, 4th gear wheelies.  The sand is like small rolling waves about a foot deep, and about two yards long.  Just perfect to hold the rappy up the hill in a long wheelie.  I looked to my right and noticed phil had fallin' back a bit, just as I unknowingly crested the dune  (we had been in the dunes for a grand total of 1 hour at this moment)

Yeah, it was a 100ft razorback    The Dukes of Hazzard horn would have been very appropriate at this moment 

So as I just get airborne, I do what all true morons do in these types of situations, I panic and let off the throttle    Yep, Nose it in FTW!!!! 

So once again, I'm perfect my world famous Superman pose as I dive off the quad at 35mph over a 100ft dune.  I was sure my head was gonna be countersunk into sand like an ostrich  :'(

I managed to tuck and roll, onto the dune (thank GERD for soft sand) just to watch my quad flip about 5 feet over my head. Jett Li would have been proud of this maneuver

The quad land after the first flip onto the tires and comes to a rest 30 ft from the dunes base, while I do my best Mary Lou Rettin "Stuck the landing " pose on the dune. 

All in all, I was fine (a bit sore, as you might imagine), the quad was ok too, bent a fender brace, my barkers are a bit uneven now, and my brand new $25 "Got Sand?" flag was particle dust spread across the dune 


You can bet I was very observant of the crests of the dunes for the rest of my vacation

[Peelz]

Finally wrecked my brand spankin new 700 SE2. Rode over a hill like I had many times that day, at Genoa, Nebraska. Hill had no back, it was a washed out bank...yikes. You know..."Gas it or bail"  I gassed it and jumped off 7ft bank. LAnded, bottomed out, and must have  hit the thumb throttle on impact, because I was thrown off the back. Quad wheelied up the side of a drain pipe, and continued down the side of the pipe. Like a 50/50 grind on a skateboard.  Came to rest on it's side.  All is well, but right headlight is held on by safety wire right now.


FAIL

[unclesharty]

I thought this was gonna be another 2 chicks 1 cup thread!

[Krandall]

 

don't know how I missed this!!! great story Aaron! 

[kyledvor61]

FAIL

[Blair]

sorry kyle... but colorado's story is into the range of epicly awesome...

gratz dude... gotta love those... untill you have to pay for the parts...

[NaturalRaptor]

I agree with Blair, glad you are all right just add another subframe to list again!

[Colorado700R]

[who else but rk]

i hit a curb once......

[Peelz]

i hit a curb once......

^^^^^^ LMFAO! 

[Alkire193]

I just bought my 2007 Raptor 700 off the showroom floor and was taking her to a hare scramble out in BFE (Bum   Egypt). The last two had been rained out and this one was no different. As we turned the truck around I came up with the brilliant idea to unload the bikes and ride the road back because the whole day was now shot. Might as well ride some, right? Well the rain had made the road a bit wet and the overcast kept the road slick instead of drying it. After making our first run all the way back to the main road I said "Lets go one more!"   me, that was a mistake.

I let my buddy Steve on his new YZ 250 get way ahead and opened up the Raptor. 5th gear wide open, head down I was having a blast until I saw Steve getting closer and closer, so I start to brake. Nothing, the wheels just locked and fishtailed back and forth. Steve was now very close so I release the brakes and try to downshift, but my panicked newb rider skillz made me slam the bike from 5th to 2nd which did little more than lock the wheels and cause a horrible chattering sound. Again I go for the brakes, fishtailing all the way past Steve. According to him he was high 3rd following the truck in front of him as we came over a steep hill. I passed like he was standing still fishtailing the whole way. As we crested the hill I see, to my horror, an Infinity SUV oncoming only 200ft away. Decision time, eat the SUV or eat woods. I choose the woods, and to my delight there is a dug out trench for drainage filled with a low level of water running under peoples driveways right where im heading.The walls are 2 feet high and I hit hard on the front left instantly sending me in air. For awhile I thought about what the earth would feel like when we were reunited and then I slammed into the creek bottom and slid on my back a ways before coming to a stop face up. Before I had a chance to wonder "where is my quad" I heard a loud "THUMP" and the squeak of my suspension right next to me. When I opened my eyes the raptor was ( No bull ) 90 degrees to my body, rear wheels on my left, front wheels on my right completely over top of me, nerf bar at the chin of my helmet. I couldnt lift the quad off from that position but I did a quick systems check wiggling my fingers and toes and grabbin my unmentionables while I heard Steve screaming "Chris! Chris, say something!" With a thumbs up from me still under my quad Steve hit the ground laughing his   off as the owner of the silver SUV came to my aid. Over and over again the man kept talking about how he was praying for me and "...prayin to the lord Jesus id be ok". I apologized to the man for being such a 22 year old a-hole and putting him at risk of wearing me and my quad as a hood ornament.

Later after calming down Steve's girlfriend (who drove the truck) Steve told me the quad flipped twice in mid air before landing on top of me. And she confirmed that if it wasnt twice, it would have to be 3 times. The distance from the tire marks and impact to where everything (including me) landed was 35-40feet, my head only 6inches shy of the concrete tube running under some guys driveway.

Damage?

Rear wheel folded in half just about, front wheel - bent, left headight - toast, right headlight - mounts broke, both plastics - shattered, cracked, broken. Frame - tweaked, tie rod - bent into an "L" shape, grab bar - mangled

Me?

Unhurt, and   ing lucky

[Colorado700R]

Nice

[Krandall]

Holy crapppoolllaa 

[Hefe]

that was a GREAT read!
well written, and entertaining!

[kdanderson5]

A couple of my best ones were on my 01 Polaris Scrambler I had...

Story 1

We were trying to get back to Stratford after dark taking gravel roads most of the way there after being caught on land we thought we could be on until the guy tried to stop us shouting and shaking his fist. I slow down to talk to him, and this dude is pissed, so I think for about 1/2 a second and floor it. We chuck balls back into town and get one mile out of Stratford and take this cut across gravel road from one highway to the next highway (only a mile long).

We get about half way down the road and the guy I was with was out in front of me a little ways (very dusty so I backed off). I finally could see again so I floor it again messing around and get back into the dust. Just as I let off, I see something to my right through the dust, yeah, it was a deer. Ran right in front of with no time to react. I squeezed the brakes, front and rear, locked them up, and clipped the dumbass deer, which sent me into a sideways slide down the road (don't forget i was almost wide open, so like 60-65 mph) and see something else in my panic slide, another f'in deer and she was coming right for me. I tried to get straightened back out and brace for impact, but it was too late.

Hit the second deer and mowed the biotch over as I go flying off just in time to see my 4 wheeler leaving its wheels. I skid down the road and into the ditch wondering WTF! I laid there for maybe 30 seconds and got up to find my quad. It was still mostly in the road except for most of the plastics, which were everywhere. Turns out I killed the second deer. I used my rocket scientist wits to figure this out because it was laying about 40 feet back from my quad in the road. So I get back on without headlights on (because they are no longer attached to my quad) and pull up next to my buddy waiting at the stop sign.

The conversation:

Vance - "where the hell were you" and second "good idea shutting off your headlights so that guy can't see us".
Me - "my headlights are not off"
Vance - "what"
Me - "Bubba, I ain't got no headlights!" (I was trying to cheer myself up by being a smart azz)
So he clicks his lights on and sees my busted ass quad and ask me how I rolled it going down a gravel road. I explain the story and we go back and look at the marks, pick up the deer and throw it on my quad, and rode back to Stratford (slowly this time) and cut up the deer froze the meat for our next party.

Then to top it off, when I finally got home and had my dad call me a dip shi*t for a bit, I hopped in the shower and went to my room to relax. The longer I sat there I noticed my ankle swelling up, more and more, then more. Just for fun, I head to the emergency room to find out my ankle is broken. SWWWEEEETTTTT.  

That is story 1.

Story 2 is much shorter (or I will make it shorter)

We are out riding with a big group of people and one of the guys girlfriend shows up. He tells her to wait at the house and rides away. Being the nice guy I am, I said she could ride with me and I will just putter around, so I don't put on my helmet (STUPID STUPID STUPID).

We get to this jump where everyone is and I tell her to hop off so I can jump it a few times. It was kind of a bowl we were jumoing and my third jump, I endo against the hill on the other side and smash my face into the dirt. Then the rear tire hits me in the head and rips out a good size chunk of hair, giving me a bald spot on the back of my head to match the ones on the front of my head, THANKS karma, ya b*tch! So here I am pinned under my quad against a hill, and I am bent in half as everyone laughs and don't come to my rescue to get the quad off me. They made me lay there and think about what I had done, such good friends. Thankfully nothing was broke on me or the quad this time!