Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Magz]

affraid this is what my little boy is going to say!   

3 PIGS





The mind of a six year old is wonderful !! First Grade..... true


story





One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three


Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first


pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home.





She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the


wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that


straw to build my house?'"



The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think


that man said?"



One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said "'Holy


Sh*t! A talking pig!'"

[Peelz]

 

haha yes! thats my older son Aidan all the way....

story doesnt make sense

[Krandall]

[Magz]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent
linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of
the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was
the clear winner.
His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between
COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE
and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.
Here is his astute answer:
"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry
the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you
with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"
His answer was received with a standing ovation.

[Peelz]

No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the
difference between COMPLETE and FINISHED. However, in a recent
linguistic conference held in London, England, and attended by some of
the best linguists in the world: Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese, was
the clear winner.
His final challenge was this: Some say there is no difference between
COMPLETE and FINISHED. Please explain the difference between COMPLETE
and FINISHED in a way that is easy to understand.
Here is his astute answer:
"When you marry the right woman, you are COMPLETE. But, when you marry
the wrong woman, you are FINISHED. And when the right one catches you
with the wrong one, you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!"
His answer was received with a standing ovation.

[Krandall]

[Magz]

High Stakes Poker

Six retired Floridians play high stakes poker in the condo clubhouse.

A member of the group, Meiers, loses $5,000 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.

Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five finish playing the hand standing up.

Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna' tell his wife?"

They cut the cards, and Goldberg "wins" the duty. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, not to make a bad situation any worse.

"Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name," he says. Leave it to me."

Goldberg goes over to the Meiers' apartment and knocks on the door. Mrs. Meiers wife answers and asks what he wants.

Goldberg declares, "Your husband just lost $5,000 playing poker, and is afraid to come home."

"Tell him to drop dead!" says the wife.

"Will do," he says.

[Krandall]

Gentleman,

I removed a few jokes from this thread do to Racial comments.  Please refer to our rules (http://www.raptorsource.com/forum/index.php?topic=2.0) if you have any question about our stance about this.

There will not be another warning.

Aaron

[Hefe]

ERMAHGERD ...
who got racial?

[Peelz]

Gentleman,

I removed a few jokes from this thread do to Racial comments.  Please refer to our rules (http://www.raptorsource.com/forum/index.php?topic=2.0) if you have any question about our stance about this.

There will not be another warning.

Aaron

OH YEAH!!!

back when we cared 

FYI...the joke in question, was posted by Lang.  I find this humorous.

[Peelz]

If these offend anybody, let me know...I will remove them.  ( I just heard them, so I had to share)

Q:  Why is the Camel known as the "Ship" of the desert?
A:  Because it is full of Arabic seamen. 

Q:  How do you know when an Arabic boy is now a man?
A:  he removes the diaper from his ass and puts it on his head.

first joke=priceless, second one, racist priceless as well-welcome to the site.

heres the joke...


Peels' pre-deletion quote skillz in action? 

moderate THIS bitches!

[Hefe]

[Colorado700R]

Gentleman,

I removed a few jokes from this thread do to Racial comments.  Please refer to our rules (http://www.raptorsource.com/forum/index.php?topic=2.0) if you have any question about our stance about this.

There will not be another warning.

Aaron

Ahh, back when this site was ATV related 

[Peelz]

Gentleman,

I removed a few jokes from this thread do to Racial comments.  Please refer to our rules (http://www.raptorsource.com/forum/index.php?topic=2.0) if you have any question about our stance about this.

There will not be another warning.

Aaron

Ahh, back when this site was ATV related 

which was NEVER!.   

[Krandall]

If these offend anybody, let me know...I will remove them.  ( I just heard them, so I had to share)

Q:  Why is the Camel known as the "Ship" of the desert?
A:  Because it is full of Arabic seamen. 

Q:  How do you know when an Arabic boy is now a man?
A:  he removes the diaper from his ass and puts it on his head.

first joke=priceless, second one, racist priceless as well-welcome to the site.

heres the joke...


Peels' pre-deletion quote skillz in action? 

moderate THIS bitches!