Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

joke o the day


BL..

[Kamakazi]

peels goes to his wife and gives her 3 choices.  "You can either come riding with me, give me a blow job or take it up the rear."  Well there was no way she was going riding, and she wasnt going to take it up the rear for no man.  So she gets on her knees and gets down to business.  When she stands up she says "jeebus that tastes like shit!!"  peels replies, "ya Geo didnt wanna go riding either"
















Sorry Peels' wife

[Krandall]

[Peelz]

bahahahah


wait....  

[Colorado700R]

Damn Peels, first you take his parking spot, then you buttfuk him.....poor

[Krandall]

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch: He couldn't return to earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million" he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear: "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep one million and we'll send the engineer."

[dragonz]

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch: He couldn't return to earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million" he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."

The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear: "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep one million and we'll send the engineer."

Typical Lawyers, always screwing us engineers over (& making an exorbitant fee in the process for doing nothing)

[Hefe]

A Russian arrives in  New York City  as a new immigrant to the  United
States He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing,
food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a Mexican.."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such
a beautiful country here in America." 
The person says, "I not American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes
his hand, and says, "Thank you for wonderful America!" 
That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East.  I am not
American."

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Africa."   
Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Americans?"
The African lady checks her watch and says, "Probably at work."

[Krandall]

[Peelz]

LMAO heffer

[Krandall]

An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up...

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
86-year-old said, 'Things are great and I've never felt better.'

... I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
"So what do you think about that Doc?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and
then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
and never misses a season."

One day he was setting off to go hunting.
In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking
cane instead of his gun.."

"As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver
sitting at the water's edge..

He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't
shoot the magnificent creature.
Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if
it were his favorite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'.

"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 86-year-old said,
"Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied,
"My point exactly."

[Colorado700R]

....wait what ..........................

[Kamakazi]

my engineer the other day explained the difference between actuality and theory:

jhonny asks his dad one day, "what is the difference between theory and actuality?"  The father replies "go to your mother and your sister and ask them if they will suck a cock for 1 million dollars and let me know what they say".  So johnny ask both his mom and sister the question and both of thier replies were "yes, we would suck a cock for 1 million dollars".  Jhonny goes to his dad and tells him their answers. "well" says jhonnys dad "theoretically we are living with a couple of millionaires, but in actuality we are living with a couple of cocksuckers"

I couldnt have described it better myself 

[Krandall]

Two missionaries in Africa get apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water. They build a huge fire under it, and leave them there. A few minutes later, one of the missionaries starts to laugh uncontrollably.

The other missionary can't believe it.

He says, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"

The other missionary says, "I just peed in the soup!"

[Kamakazi]

one day phucker decides to go out hunting for bear, he hears about this absolutely huge bear in canada that has been terrorizing the local hunters.  Phucker being awefully competitive decides he would show the canuk hunters a thing or two about how to hunt.  He packs his best hunting rifle and fly's out to Canada.  The next day while hunting he spots the bear, lines it up in his scope and "bang!" sees the bear fall and goes to walk up to where it falls.  While looking arround he feels this tapping on his shoulder and turns arround to see this monsterous bear standing there.  The bear feels sorry for the poor american and gives phucker 2 choices, i can either maul you to death or you can bend over and take it in the ass.  Well phucker drops his pants and grabs his ankles.  The next day phucker has his AR16 sent from the states, Phucker being smug figures he is gonna get this bear for sure now.  While hunting he sees the bear again, lines him up and "rat a tat tat!!!", see the bear drop and walks up to where he saw the bear fall, all of a sudden Phucker feels a familiar tapping on the shoulder and turns arround.  The bear then states "you know the drill" and Phucker drops his pants and grabs his ankles.  Kamakazi finds out about the turn of events and laughs and Phucker uncontrolably, Phucker being humiliated contacts aaron and has a rocket launcher smuggled in, "im gonna get that SOB now".  The next day Phucker sees the bear again, lines it up in the cross hairs and "fsssssssttt, BOOOOOM!", He walks up to where the pieces of the bear should have been and feels and all too familiar tap on the shoulder.  the bear says " your arent in this for the hunting are you"