Post some good jokes here!!!!

[NaturalRaptor]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. 'Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple is still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'


After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'


St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground 'What's wrong?' asked the now frightened and confused couple.

'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a
priest up here! Do you have ANY IDEA how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'

[Krandall]

[Krandall]

Q: What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper?

A: About two weeks.

[Peelz]

Q: What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper?

A: About two weeks.

[Hefe]

no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

[Krandall]

Bloodhound gang FTMFW!

[Peelz]

no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

and telling you they do it for their babies

[dragonz]

no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

and telling you they do it for their babies

Nothing wrong with supporting single mothers!

[Hefe]

those T-shirts are all over Vegas!

[dragonz]

those T-shirts are all over Vegas!

Never been to Vegas

[Krandall]

A big game hunter goes on an African safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman. Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!

"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically: "Do something!"

"Oh, no," the husband says: "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"

[Hefe]

My Mother in law rocks!

[preddy08]

You know how to piss off Aaron?

When you done fucking him in the ass wipe your shitty dick on his new blinds 

[Krandall]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bottom, and said: "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this offended her, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said: "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra." This, she decided, was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed his crotch.

With a death grip in place, she said: "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener and the pool man."

[Colorado700R]

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi found themselves seated up on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one small wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?  This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this moment and rejoice with profound happiness?"

Pelosi replied, "With one little wave of your hand, your Popeness?  I seriously doubt that.  Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded her.