New Words for 2008

[Headrope]

Semi random whore type thing................

Best Bridal Gown ever!!

Motorboat ... motorboat....motorboat

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Peelz]

Peels playing "Myth Buster"

hey! didn't see this one the other day. prepare for virtual war!   a$$

seriously, that's a funny pic though.

Colorado700 Warning sign:

[dragonz]

For those of you that like to fly........................

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the airplane during the flight.

The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.

The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.

Here are some 'actual' maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet-per-minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

[darkside94]

haha lmao thats original
id love to be the ground crew
id be a total ass to them too

[kyledvor61]

buddha put down the damn hammer

[Krandall]

buddha put down the damn hammer

huh?

[BRAD]

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be
serious.

i think thats the funniest one there

[darkside94]

I'll put down the damn hammer

thank you kyle that shit was gettin annoying

[dragonz]

 Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.

Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.

Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.

Q. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball

Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!

Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!

Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.

Q. What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.

Q.What is the difference between "ooooooh"and " aaaaaaah"?
A. About three inches.

Q. Why do gay men wear ribbed condoms?
A. For traction in the mud.

Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.

Q. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 pounds.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
A. The swallow.

Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A. They don't have balls to scratch!

[Colorado700R]

Peels playing "Myth Buster"

hey! didn't see this one the other day. prepare for virtual war!   a$$

seriously, that's a funny pic though.

Colorado700 Warning sign:

Iowa warning sign

[kyledvor61]

 

[Sand84]

I would like to add... REDONKULOUS.  This is something someone says/does that is so rediculous, it makes them look like such an ass that the whole situation is REDONKULOUS!!!  LOL

Praire dogging is also a phrase to refer to when a poopy is real close to happening. 

Like Wicked REDONKULOUS Tricks     THRILLBILLIES is a KICK ASS movie :grin_nod:

[kyledvor61]

buddha put down the damn hammer

huh?

midget with hammer in cockpit.

[Peelz]

Peels playing "Myth Buster"

hey! didn't see this one the other day. prepare for virtual war!   a$$

seriously, that's a funny pic though.

Colorado700 Warning sign:

Iowa warning sign

now thats funny!  Try my diet plan...all you have to do is meth, stop eating, and sleeping. 

[dragonz]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here
to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again,
"Nurse, please check. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from
worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls
back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand
and his testicles in the other.

Then, she takes a close look and says, There's nothing wrong with them,
Sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very
slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very
closely......

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?