The Washington Post's "Mensa Invitational" once again invited readers to take
any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas
from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who
doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit!)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really
bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious
bummer.
12. Decafalon: The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only
things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they
come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit: The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom
at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor: The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit
you're eating.
