Off Topic Bullsh*t Thread Volume XXIV

[Krandall]

isnt that the truth

[Krandall]

What was the single biggest mistake in all of history?


I believe that any time a steak is cooked more than medium-rare, that it's the single biggest mistake in all of history. Every time it happens, it's worse than the last time, because haven't we learned anything? Don't people realize how bad overcooked steak tastes?
I know it's a personal preference, but I believe steaks are at their absolute best when cooked medium-rare. It's the perfect temperature for a nice piece of meat. The steaks should start out at room temperature. I can always tell when somebody's cooking a steak right out of the fridge. It never really cooks as evenly, the center taking just a little longer to get to that sweet-spot, the exterior drying out while the middle takes forever to come down from the cold. I'll still always say, "Wow, great steak," but I'm really just being polite.
Ideally, whoever is cooking is going to want to heat up their grill or frying pan or whatever, get it really, really hot, almost smoking, so that way the outside will have that nice char, that crisp brown. And then when you cut into it, man, it's great. Red to the center, warm interior.
So I always order my steak medium-rare. Unless, of course, I'm sitting at a table in a steakhouse with a large group of people. In that case it's not so simple. I'm a gentlemen, so I never just go ahead and order first. I'll hold off for somebody else to start, and then I'll wait until it's my turn to order. Chances are, somebody else is going to order their steak medium-rare. I'm telling you, it's the best way to have a steak. But then the waiter will come around to me, "And for you sir? How would you like your steak prepared?" I can't say medium-rare now. I'll look like I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll look like I've never ordered a steak before, and now I'm just copying everybody else.
This is why it's great to order first at a steak place. Everyone else is definitely going to get their steak medium-rare. So when you order first, you look like you're in charge, like everyone else is following your lead. Then the second person also says medium-rare. "Very good, sir." And maybe he really did want his steak medium-rare. It all depends on how fast he said it. If there was even a second's hesitation, it would be perfectly obvious that he was probably going to go for medium, but he didn't feel like being outdone by the first person. "I'll take mine medium ... rare. Medium-rare." A classic rookie I've-never-eaten-in-a-steakhouse-with-a-large-group-of-people mistake.
And then it goes down the line, medium-rare, medium-rare, medium-rare. But now everybody ordering, the fifth, sixth, seventh, even if they wanted medium, medium-well, it's just not happening. Nobody's going to stick their neck out like that. By the third or fourth person, the waiter is only even asking because he has to, because it's part of his job description. Bosses always gets really pissed when waiters try to save some time, try to cast out a blanket, "medium-rares all around?" question to the table.
Every once in a while the waiter will start off with a person who clearly doesn't know how to eat steak and they'll say medium or medium-well. And the next person will order theirs, extra loud, medium-rare, as if to say, please don't confuse me with my idiot friend to my left, I'd like mine medium-rare. Please. And it'll go down the line, medium-rare, medium-rare, and after two or three people, that first guy will realize his mistake, and he'll get really embarrassed, and he'll just shout out to the waiter, who's already passed him, and he'll say, "Excuse me, you know what? I'm going to go for that medium-rare also, thanks." And the waiter will say, "Very good, sir," and he'll pretend to cross out something on his pad and write in something else, but it will all be an act, because he's not writing anything at all. It's always medium-rare. The first person always changes to medium-rare after everyone else orders medium-rare. It's a science.
But then it gets to me, maybe I'm like the eighth or ninth person ordering. And I'm no follower, I'm no nameless face in a crowd. So I'll say "rare, please." And everyone drops their fork and stares. I learned this trick at my friend's wedding in Iowa last summer. The rehearsal dinner was at this steak place, and the specialty was rib-eye. Delish. Of course I was going to order medium-rare, but the first person ordered rare. I was like, what? Rare? Crazy. But then the second person ordered. Rare. Third, fourth, fifth. Rare, rare, rare. There was definitely a pattern here and it became clear to me how I'd have to order my steak.
It was good. I liked it. It's a little chewier than I was used to. You have to cut the pieces really thin so it's somewhat manageable in your mouth. But it's nice. I still like medium-rare better, but I'll never tell that to anybody. I'll only order that if it's just me and somebody else, or if I'm cooking the steak myself. From now on, when I'm at a steak restaurant with a lot of people, rare it is. I'm a one-of-a-kind kind of a guy. I just love it, sitting there. Medium-rare. Medium-rare. Medium-rare. Medium-rare. And, rare. Bam. I always stand out from the pack.
I really hope that someday I'm out to dinner with a bunch of guys and for some reason it's my turn to order first. And I'm definitely going to order rare. And I know that that second person is just going to have to order rare also. And it'll be like dominoes, everyone falling in line, everyone getting a rare steak. I'm pretty sure that's what happened in Iowa. I think.
Just do me a favor and never order a steak well-done. I have it on good authority that whenever a chef at a steak restaurant gets an order for a well done steak, he walks over to a nearby trashcan where, under all of the trash, he keeps a stockpile of some of last week's worst cuts of meat. After he pulls the nastiest one out, he spits on it a few times, and then he throws it on the grill until all that's left is a charred blackened piece of coal. Then he puts on some parsley and sends it out to be served. It's true, I swear.
P.S. I hate it when people order "medium to medium-well." That's not a temperature. Pick medium or medium well. There are five temperatures, that's it. You can't just go around making up your own weird non-existent styles of preparing steak.

[Krandall]

I've got nothing to say...Except Thank you all service men and women out there.

http://gma.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/soldiers-salute-seen-around-world-brought-men-tears-144240044--abc-news-topstories.html?vp=1

Soldier's 'Salute Seen Around the World' Brought Men to Tears

U.S. Army Ranger Cpl. Josh Hargis was lying on a hospital bed in Afghanistan, hooked up to a breathing tube with his right hand heavily bandaged when he was awarded a Purple Heart for his valor in the battlefield.
None of that, however, stopped Hargis, 24, from following military protocol and lifting his bandaged hand to salute the Ranger Regimental Commander who pinned the Purple Heart to his red, white and blue Quilts of Valor quilt.
"Grown men began to weep and we were speechless at a gesture that speaks volumes about Josh's courage and character," one of the officers present in the hospital room wrote in a letter to Hargis's wife, Taylor. "I will remember it as the single greatest event I have witnessed in my ten years in the Army."
Taylor Hargis posted the photo of her husband saluting from his hospital bed along with the letter she received from his commanding officer to her Facebook page Oct. 12. It has since been shared more than 5,000 times, including on the Guardian of Valor website, which labeled the picture "the salute seen around the world."
Hargis of Cincinnati was wounded Oct. 6 when an Afghan woman detonated a suicide bomb vest, killing four members of his 3rd Army Ranger Battalion and wounding 12 other U.S. soldiers, according to the Guardian of Valor website and Hargis' hometown newspaper, the Cincinnati Enquirer.
The roughly 50 officers and medical staff in the room with Hargis thought he was unconscious during the pinning ceremony, the commander told Taylor Hargis in his letter. The doctor tried to restrain Hargis' arm when he lifted it to salute.
"He had no idea how strong and driven my husband is," Taylor Hargis, who did not reply to ABCNews.com's request for comment as of this writing, told the Enquirer. "He was just showing what it means to be a warrior and an American soldier."

Hargis's mother, Laura Heitman, told Cincinnati's ABC News affiliate WCPO-TV that Taylor is pregnant with the couple's first child. She also told the station her son was on his fourth tour of duty in Afghanistan.
Hargis was transferred from Afghanistan to a U.S. military hospital in Germany. He was flown Tuesday from Germany to San Antonio, Texas, where he will continue his recovery at the Army hospital at Fort Sam Houston, Heitman said.
Taylor Hargis told the Enquirer she has spoken to her husband by phone and expects him to "be just fine."
"If you want to know the meaning of strong," she said, "it's an Army Ranger."

[Peelz]

Hey gents, if you have a chance to go see that space movie "Gravity" you should do so.  no joke.


quite enjoyable.

[Krandall]

[Mad Dog]

Dude....that is AWESOME!!!!!

[Peelz]

LOL love it 

[Krandall]

for peelz: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_heifer#Christians

[Peelz]

for peelz: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_heifer#Christians

wtf!

genetically altering cattle to force a prophecy. i am loving this

that is pretty much proving your own religion is a farce  thanks.

if jeebus does come back, i have a feeling it will be to bitch slap people like this 

[dragonz]

random whore

[Krandall]

little butter face goin!

[Peelz]

mmmmm butter...... 

[Colorado700R]

http://www.salary.com/7-of-the-worst-resumes-ever/slide/2/

A man known only as "Eric" submitted one of the more epic resumes in recent memory when he hailed himself as someone who would "claw my way to the top using any means necessary...but then be a fair and just ruler." He also listed "ESP" and "sexy dancing" as employable attributes. Also, under experience he cites "a very fast metabolism" and "enough knowledge to write an essay on pretty much any subject (without researching it)."

Oh Eric...

[Colorado700R]

Ever hear the phrase "too much of a good thing?"

When it comes to this real-life viral resume, upon first glance items such as "intuitive understanding of supply and demand economics," "ran my own delivery service," "had a consistent clientele with high customer satisfaction," and "good with money" all seem like good things.

Except for the fact that all of these skills were garnered as a "Marijuana dealer & nefarious dude."

Let this be a reminder that you don't have to include every job you've ever had.....Magz

[Peelz]

http://www.salary.com/7-of-the-worst-resumes-ever/slide/2/

A man known only as "Eric" submitted one of the more epic resumes in recent memory when he hailed himself as someone who would "claw my way to the top using any means necessary...but then be a fair and just ruler." He also listed "ESP" and "sexy dancing" as employable attributes. Also, under experience he cites "a very fast metabolism" and "enough knowledge to write an essay on pretty much any subject (without researching it)."

Oh Eric...