Breaking News Thread Version 2.0

[Peelz]

I believe minihos are in season. Thanks for the heads up

 

[Segkast]

I'm not going to work today!     Called the boss man and told him I wanted off.  He asked why, what's going on. 

Me:  Uh... nothing. 
Boss:  nothing?
Me:  yeah, I just want off.  I just want an option 3 day.  But I'm not going to sit here and lie about why I need off.  [opt. 3 = sick day more or less]
Boss:  I uh... [silence] appreciate your honesty.  Have a nice weekend.



And yes, this IS breaking news because I rarely call in.

Quality !

[Lady4Fiddy]

breaking news

MINI HO SIGHTING!

recently a mythical creature, the mini-ho was spotted lurking the off-topic area of RS, according to several eyewitness accounts.

if you have any info on its whereabouts please notify authorities at once, as the mini ho is believed to be dangerous.

Mini Ho's are not dangerous... that is a MYTH! I eat them for breakfast and I'm an effin' Gnome! Mmmhmmm... taste like chicken!   

[rappyfreak]

 
http://gawker.com/5733414/fox-shoots-hunter

Fox Shoots Hunter
A hunter was shot by a fox in Belarus. Not, like, a sexy woman—an actual fox, that the hunter was trying to kill. I know, right?

In fairness, hunting can be difficult! You have to locate and track the prey, stay silent, aim perfectly, and also, make sure that the animal doesn't shoot you with your own goddamn gun. According to Belarusian media, the hunter had wounded the fox and attempted to "finish the animal off with the butt of the rifle." The fox had other plans. Man and beast "scuffled," and the fox managed to (accidentally?) pull the trigger of the rifle. (A Belarusian prosecutor is quoted saying "The animal fiercely resisted and in the struggle accidentally pulled the trigger with its paw." Fiercely resisted! What a way to put it!)

The hunter, who seems to have been shot in the leg, is in the hospital. The fox, no doubt a folk hero to its own kind as well as to non-fox-hunting humans, is nowhere to be found. What can you say? Sometimes you shoot the fox, and sometimes the fox shoots you.

[Reuters via thegrandinquisitor; image via Shutterstock]

[Segkast]

http://www.komonews.com/news/national/114274879.html


' Cook jailed for putting pubic hair in cop's sandwich '

EVESHAM, N.J. (AP) - A former cook at a New Jersey restaurant is getting 15 days in jail for adding an unwelcome ingredient to a police officer's bagel sandwich.

Twenty-seven-year-old Ryan Burke admitted putting his own pubic and chest hairs in the sandwich in February 2010. He pleaded guilty to aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and retaliation for a past official action.

The Courier-Post of Cherry Hill reports a judge sentenced Burke last week to 15 days in prison, to be served on weekends. He's also ordered to serve two years of probation.

Authorities say the Evesham police officer had previously stopped Burke for a traffic violation.

[Peelz]

Awesome!!! hope he gave him a liter of cola too!

[Krandall]

"It's for a cop"

[rappyfreak]

Dude, Where's My Car: Grandfather Loses Car In Parking Lot – for Nearly Three Years
By: NICK CARBONE

A British man parked his Honda in a lot before going shopping in May 2008. He found his car last week.

Every shopper knows the frustration – stumbling out of the mall after a therapeutic marathon shopping session, only to have to recall the level, the row, the exact space where you parked the car. But what if that moment of glory never came?

80-year-old Gerald Sanctuary couldn't find his silver Honda in a parking garage after a trip to the pharmacy. Sanctuary, who suffers from dementia, eventually called off the search and got a ride home. His children went back to look for the car, but they too were unable to track it down, presuming it had been stolen.

Over Christmas, an attendant at the garage in St. Albans, England, 25 miles northwest of London, noticed the car was unusually dirty and alerted police. They were able to match the car to Sanctuary and reunited him with his wheels last week. Sanctuary's son Nigel said: 'It's just amazing that it was right under our noses the whole time."

The car surely went unnoticed – or workers simply looked the other way – because Sanctuary's silver Honda was clocking up a daily charge of £8.50 ($13.60) – and after two-and-a-half years, his total due on exit was rapidly approaching £9,000 ($14,400). Fortunately, the parking garage waived the fee.

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/01/23/dude-wheres-my-car-grandfather-loses-car-in-parking-lot-for-nearly-three-years/#ixzz1BtkHiA32

[Krandall]

 

[disco]

Remember Fountain Lady?

http://comedy.video.yahoo.com/?l=3774749&v=8708734

She's getting in trouble.

http://blogs.chron.com/hottopics/2011/01/fountain_lady_faces_criminal_charges.html

'Fountain lady' faces criminal charges

By meganhoye@seattlepi.com (meganhoye)

Rule one: before hinting at a lawsuit, make sure you don't have any outstanding felony charges yourself.

Fountain Lady, who became an Internet sensation last week after walking into a mall fountain while texting, said on Good Morning America Thursday that she might sue the mall where she fell.

I guess malls have to plan ahead for visitors who abstain from watching where they're walking.

Fountain Lady's lawyer told ABC News he intends to "hold the responsible parties accountable" for the incident, though it's unclear whether this references that no railing prevented her from falling in the fountain, that nobody responded to the incident after she fell or that a video of her fall was released.

But it turns out that "Fountain Lady," also known as Cathy Cruz Marrero, faces legal charges herself — charges even more serious than assuming that pedestrians can avoid large structures on pathways.Marrero was charged in late 2009 with running up bills of more than $5,000 on a coworker's credit account at Target and Zales, according to ABC News. She was supposed to repay the money but never did, and will appear in court for sentencing in April.

We can only hope her lawyer will give her a two-for-one discount.

Meanwhile, Fountain Lady is complaining that none of the mall staff helped her out of the fountain or even asked her if she was okay.

Regardless of whether this is grounds for legal action, there is no denying that the video is still hilarious.

[Colorado700R]

TAMPA - Charles Yezak keeps a secret stash hidden in the kitchen. He can't buy any more. It's illegal in many states now. So he only dips into his stockpile on special occasions.

Not fine wine. Not Cuban cigars. It's dish detergent. Not just any dish detergent.

"This is the stockpile I bought before the changeover," Yezak confesses with a hushed voice while shopping the cleaning supply aisle at a Walmart Neighborhood store in Tampa. "It actually works – not like the new stuff."

Turns out, they really don't make dish detergent like they used to. And that's causing something of a disaster for everyone who gets stuck doing the dishes.

It began last July when Cascade and most other detergent brands eliminated a key ingredient from their formulas, phosphate.

Now people are finding their dishes covered in a white gunk that just won't come off, and some are tossing out sets of dishes and replacing their dishwashers – only to find the gunk appear again in a few days. PTA meetings, cul-du-sacs and soccer practice fields are abuzz with the calamity, and sales are skyrocketing of any product that promises to fix the problem.


* * * * *

Phosphates work fabulously in dish detergent, experts say, helping soap break up grease and suspending the naturally occurring minerals found in hard water so the minerals flush away.

Unfortunately, phosphate is also a wonderful fertilizer for agriculture. That means every load of dishes also poured phosphates into the drain water, ultimately reaching lakes and oceans and encouraging huge algae blooms that plagued sea life.

With that in mind, detergent companies years ago eliminated phosphates from laundry detergents. Last July, 16 states jumped on board and banned phosphates in dish detergent. Even though Florida didn't join the ban, it must use phosphate-free detergent since manufacturers eliminated the substance in all their products.

Shortly thereafter, consumers began to notice.

"Holy cow, we got bombarded, our phone literally rang off the hook with calls," said Don DiChristopher, owner of A DiChristopher Appliance Service. Hundreds of calls came in. "We started turning down repair calls."

DiChristopher sent technicians out to frustrated customers who had already thrown out several sets of dishes or replaced their machines altogether. Technicians tore the machines apart, but couldn't find anything broken.

Tracy Urso of Westchase assumed the problem was her old washer, and bought a new, high-end appliance. "But," she said, "our glasses were not much better."

On Cascade's own online forum, one customer vented. "I had 20 guests in my home from a wedding, and was embarrassed with glasses, dishes, pans and silverware, all covered with white film."

Another consumer posted "Cascade is ruining my silverware and coffee cups – huge residue. FIX IT!!!"


* * * * *

That white film on dishes is mainly made up of magnesium, calcium and aluminum – the elements that help make water "hard." The stains don't easily rub off, even with soap. Over time, that gunk can build up in dishwashers, DiChristopher said, clogging motors, sprayers and bearings. Given enough time, a dishwasher can become useless.

While those minerals are common in many foods, Cascade officials published an online FAQ about the problem and said "we always recommend that consumers wash any residue on dishes before using them again." In other words, rewash the dishes you just washed.

The special irony for Florida is that this state is one of the world's largest producers of phosphates, primarily for agriculture fertilizer.

Agriculture, construction and water treatment centers are the biggest users of phosphates. While Cascade officials say dishwashing represents just 3 percent of the phosphate in the environment, "Cascade is doing its part," and removing it.

All this has triggered a bonanza in sales of any product or home remedy that promises to remove the gunk.

Sales of higher-end dish detergents are up, in particular eco-friendly, alternate or "complete" versions that come in a small "puck" of hard powder with a bubble of liquid shine enhancer.

Electrosol Jet Dry Powerball soap sales rose 22 percent from last year, according to market researcher SymphonyIRI. Cascade "Complete" sales rose 30 percent. Method "Smarty" detergent sales rose 54 percent.

The home-spun solution of white vinegar is also taking off. While DiChristopher considers it a myth, homeowners like Urso now religiously pour a cup into each wash cycle.

Store-brand vinegar sales are up three percent from last year, while sales of Heinz-brand vinegar are up more than three percent. Stores like Target and Walmart are expanding shelf space for gallon-sized jugs of vinegar.


* * * * *

Sales of Finish-brand detergent have taken off as well, notably after Consumer Reports magazine recommended it in tests of phosphate-free detergents.

However, the rising star of this new gunk-removing bonanza is "Lemi Shine."

The Midland, Tex.-based company was relatively low-profile until last year, selling small bottles of granulated citric acid with a lemony smell – primarily to help in cities with especially hard water. The 20-employee Envirocon Technologies Inc. that makes Lemi Shine is producing at a breakneck pace, said spokesman Marty Hammond.

Nationwide, Lemi Shine shipments are up 80 percent from last year according to IRI, and "our business has doubled in the Florida market." Dishwasher repair companies now tell anyone with a cleaning issue to first try Lemi Shine.

Detergent companies aren't likely to go back to including phosphates unless current laws change.

But in another layer of irony, the phosphate ban doesn't apply to commercial facilities like restaurants or hotels, so bulk packages of detergent are available at supply companies. Restaurant Depot in Tampa sells a box of professional detergent with phosphate, for $7.95, or a case of six boxes for $45.31.

Some distributors still sell phosphate detergent on eBay.

Meanwhiole, Target, Walmart and Publix have started devoting more space to alternate detergents, and Lemi Shine and Finish-brand detergents are among the leaders in that growth, said Publix spokeswoman Shannon Patten.

This month, Sweetbay will start stocking Lemi Shine as well, following a torrent of customer requests.

[Lady4Fiddy]

AH HA!!!  and here I was pissed off at the wrong people. Sheesh!

[Krandall]

car covered in inches of ice!
http://news.yahoo.com/video/newyorkcbs2-15751042/car-frozen-in-place-23949191

[Krandall]

Peelz and pat busted.




MIAMI (Reuters) – Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs, Florida sheriff's deputies said on Wednesday.

The ashes were taken from a woman's home in the central Florida town of Silver Springs Shores on December 15. The thieves took an urn containing the ashes of her father and another container with the ashes of her two Great Danes, along with electronic equipment and jewelry, the Marion County Sheriff's Office said.

Investigators learned what happened to the ashes after they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt at a nearby home last week.

"The suspects mistook the ashes for either cocaine or heroin. It was soon discovered that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine," the sheriff's report said.

Once they realized their error, the suspects discussed returning the remaining ashes but threw them in a lake instead because they thought their fingerprints were on the containers, sheriff's spokesman Judge Cochran said.

Police divers were trying to recover the ashes. The suspects were jailed on numerous burglary and other charges.

[Peelz]

Oops  lol