Post some good jokes here!!!!

[dungbeetle06]

Might sound cheesy but I liked it on the other site when everyone started posting their jokes

[Colorado700R]

Might sound cheesy but I liked it on the other site when everyone started posting their jokes

Cool 

[LittleBuddha]

Can these jokes be patently offensive?

[Flynbyu]

Anything goes bitches.

Except beastiality or child porn.

~Brian

[dungbeetle06]

And I hink some people might take offense to racial stuff too, Humorous stuff I think is ok but the mean stuff I think should stay out

[LittleBuddha]

There goes half of my material.   

[dungbeetle06]

hahaha

[LittleBuddha]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

[Flynbyu]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

+10

Oh shit.



~Brian

[dungbeetle06]

A filthy rich Floridian man decided to throw a party and invited all of his friends and neighbors, including Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.  He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, BBQ and flirting with all the women.  At the height of the party, the host  announced.  "I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!  Leroy began fighting the gator in a life or death battle.  Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Karate fighter.  The water was churning and

splashing everywhere.   Both Leroy and the gator were thrashing, grunting, groaning, and raising hell.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.  Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.  Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. 



The host rushes to Leroy and says, "That was amazing!!  I guess I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay.. I don't want it," said Leroy.

The host said, "Man, I have to give you something.  You won the bet.  How about half a million bucks?"

"No thanks, I don't want it," answered Leroy.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was a fantastic battle.  How about a new Porsche, a Rolex, maybe some stock options?"  Again Leroy said no.

Totally confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, "I want the name of the sum-bitch who pushed me in the pool!"

[dungbeetle06]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

+10

Oh shit.



~Brian

[LittleBuddha]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

+10

Oh shit.



~Brian

That was some good stuff right there.  I got a feeling that one is gonna go over like a fart in church.  Aaron just googled army jokes I bet.  

[LittleBuddha]

A filthy rich Floridian man decided to throw a party and invited all of his friends and neighbors, including Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.  He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.

Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, BBQ and flirting with all the women.  At the height of the party, the host  announced.  "I have a 10 ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in."

The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!  Leroy began fighting the gator in a life or death battle.  Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Karate fighter.  The water was churning and

splashing everywhere.   Both Leroy and the gator were thrashing, grunting, groaning, and raising hell.

Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.  Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.  Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. 



The host rushes to Leroy and says, "That was amazing!!  I guess I owe you a million dollars."

"No, that's okay.. I don't want it," said Leroy.

The host said, "Man, I have to give you something.  You won the bet.  How about half a million bucks?"

"No thanks, I don't want it," answered Leroy.

The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something.  That was a fantastic battle.  How about a new Porsche, a Rolex, maybe some stock options?"  Again Leroy said no.

Totally confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"

Leroy said, "I want the name of the sum-bitch who pushed me in the pool!"

[dungbeetle06]

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.'


'What's your name?' she asked.

He said, 'Bob Titsenbeer'

[dungbeetle06]

 I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange,
>>> so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
>>> Short line.  Just one lady in front of me. An Asian lady who
>>> was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little
>>> irritated . . She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday,
>>> I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it
>>>   change?"
>>>
>>> The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
>>>
>>> The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"