Post some good jokes here!!!!

Started by dungbeetle06, May 12, 2008, 04:41:27 PM

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Krandall

#2295
June 28, 2012, 07:41:38 AM Last Edit: June 28, 2012, 08:06:24 AM by Krandall
A gynecologist was examining a new patient who was visibly uncomfortable. To put her at ease, the doctor decided to strike up a casual conversation. Casting around for something to say, he noticed that his patient's sandals bore the label "Hecho en Mexico," so he said, "I see you were recently in Mexico."

"ERMAHGERD!" the patient replied. "You can tell that from a pelvic exam?"


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Hefe

#2296
June 28, 2012, 08:30:33 AM
Little boy told this joke to my wife while she was cutting his hair.....

Lady walks up to a sheep farmer and says... "if I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
"Sure" , He says.. "give it a shot"
she looks over the heard... carefully studing the sheep, and finally comes up with her answer... "256" she says..
"WOW, thats amazing... you are EXACTLY RIGHT" says the farmer... "go ahead and pick one out.. a deal is a deal"
so.. she looks around and finds a nice soft one, and decides to take it home....
just as she is about to get in the car with her sheep... the Farmer says... "Hey... if I can guess your TRUE hair color, can I win my dog back?"

Peelz

#2297
June 28, 2012, 10:29:17 AM
Quote from: Hefe on June 28, 2012, 08:30:33 AM
Little boy told this joke to my wife while she was cutting his hair.....

Lady walks up to a sheep farmer and says... "if I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
"Sure" , He says.. "give it a shot"
she looks over the heard... carefully studing the sheep, and finally comes up with her answer... "256" she says..
"WOW, thats amazing... you are EXACTLY RIGHT" says the farmer... "go ahead and pick one out.. a deal is a deal"
so.. she looks around and finds a nice soft one, and decides to take it home....
just as she is about to get in the car with her sheep... the Farmer says... "Hey... if I can guess your TRUE hair color, can I win my dog back?"

lol?

missed something?
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"

Magz

#2298
July 11, 2012, 04:11:44 PM
Two patients limp into two different medical offices with the same complaint. Both have painful trouble walking and appear to require hip surgery.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an
x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled 7 months away, pending the review boards
decision based on his age and remaining value to society.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever taken to a vet.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen on Obama care...

If, in November, he and his cronies get another term, we'll all have to find a good vet!

Peelz

#2299
July 12, 2012, 08:25:18 AM
Quote from: Magz on July 11, 2012, 04:11:44 PM
Two patients limp into two different medical offices with the same complaint. Both have painful trouble walking and appear to require hip surgery.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an
x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled 7 months away, pending the review boards
decision based on his age and remaining value to society.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever taken to a vet.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen on Obama care...

If, in November, he and his cronies get another term, we'll all have to find a good vet!


:confused:

joke written by a redneck?
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"

Hefe

#2300
July 12, 2012, 10:12:16 AM
smart redneck!

Magz

#2301
July 14, 2012, 05:22:50 PM
I have to work on weekend now :( so you guys are going to get trolled :troll:

A woman scanned the guests at a party and spotted an attractive man, standing alone. She approached him

'My name is Carmen,' she told him.

'That's a beautiful name,' he replied, 'Is it a family name?'

'No,' she replied. 'I gave it to myself. It reflects the things I like most -- cars and men.'


'What's your name?' she asked.

He said, 'Bob Titsenbeer'

Hefe

#2302
July 16, 2012, 08:35:49 AM
Quote from: PeelsSE2 on June 28, 2012, 10:29:17 AM
Quote from: Hefe on June 28, 2012, 08:30:33 AM
Little boy told this joke to my wife while she was cutting his hair.....

Lady walks up to a sheep farmer and says... "if I can guess exactly how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
"Sure" , He says.. "give it a shot"
she looks over the heard... carefully studing the sheep, and finally comes up with her answer... "256" she says..
"WOW, thats amazing... you are EXACTLY RIGHT" says the farmer... "go ahead and pick one out.. a deal is a deal"
so.. she looks around and finds a nice soft one, and decides to take it home....
just as she is about to get in the car with her sheep... the Farmer says... "Hey... if I can guess your TRUE hair color, can I win my dog back?"

lol?

missed something?

I thought it was funny...

I will explain it to those who are too slow...

she is a blonde, and she thought his dog was a sheep...

Krandall

#2303
July 16, 2012, 01:49:43 PM
I lol'd when pealer didn't get it :lol:


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Peelz

#2304
July 16, 2012, 02:29:21 PM
I "get it" but it isnt that funny.

jerks  :rofl:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"

Hefe

#2305
July 16, 2012, 03:03:38 PM
its funny because a little kid told it to my wife...
he was like 8 years old... grumpy old fart!

rappyfreak

#2306
July 16, 2012, 05:06:57 PM
What do you call two mexicans playing basketball against one another? Juan on Juan  :nod:
'06 Raptor 700: Yoshi RS-7 full, PCV, Pro Design Foam, EHS lid, Flexx bars, 2" Rox a/v risers, ASV C/5 levers, Powermadds, CCP, HDUSA i3500 +2 a-arms, Rap 700 SE front shocks redone by Wiig, Fox Podium X rear, DWT Drift rear and Hiper beadlocks, Pro Armor XC nerfs, Race grab bar, Tag Agro bumper/chassis skid, PRM 0.25" swinger skid

My name is Iñigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!

Krandall

#2307
July 17, 2012, 08:08:59 AM
Peelz didn't get it.


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Cowards die many times before their deaths The valiant never taste of death but once

Peelz

#2308
July 17, 2012, 08:38:42 AM
Quote from: Hefe on July 16, 2012, 03:03:38 PM
its funny because a little kid told it to my wife...
he was like 8 years old... grumpy old fart!

:kettle:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"

Hefe

#2309
July 17, 2012, 03:09:13 PM
:mdsit:
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