Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

A beautiful young woman about to undergo a minor operation is lying on a gurney in a hospital corridor awaiting the medical staff.

A man in a white coat approaches her, lifts up the sheet and visually examines her naked body. He walks away and confers with another man in a white coat. The second man then approaches the girl and performs the same examination.

When a third man approaches her, she asks impatiently: "These examinations are fine, but when are you going to start the operation?"

He shrugs and says: "Your guess is as good as mine, lady. We're just here to paint the halls."

[Hefe]

Q: What should you do if ever you're attacked by a vicious gang of clowns?

A: Go for the juggler.

maybe the best one yet!

[Spartan]

Knock Knock
*silence*
Knock Knock Knock
*silence*

"Damnit, I'm at the deaf guy's house again!"

[Peelz]

If april showers bring mayflowers, what do the May flowers bring?

wait for it.......



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Pilgrims 

[Krandall]

A traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight and asks the clerk for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork, the man looks around and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting in the lobby. He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the lobby. After a minute, he comes back with the girl on his arm.

"Fancy meeting my wife here," he says to the clerk: "Guess I'll need a double room for the night."

Next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds the amount to be over $3,000.

"What's the meaning of this?" he yells at the clerk: "I've only been here one night!"

"Yes," says the clerk: "but your wife has been here for three weeks."

[Magz]

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was
to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New
York.

This would have been the largest shipment ever delivered to Mexico. But
as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an
iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost.

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was
so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they
still observe to this day.

The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th. and is known,
of course, as Sinko de Mayo.

[Hefe]

ERMAHGERD...

that is sooo bad!

[Magz]

OMFG, you must be kidding me. Now I must go on.

Dijon, France... They make mustard there.
French's makes mustard.
The Mexicans whipped the French on Cinco de MAYO.
Corona is an excellent way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
If you mix mustard and mayo, you have dijonnaise.
If you mix Corona, Mayo, and Mustard, you make a mess.
It also makes an effective laxative.
Special Forces uses the mixture to remove blood stains from the desert sands, after camel spiders burst out of camel stomachs.
Saddam Hussein loves to munch on doritos.
Doritos and mustard give you diarrhea.
Diarrhea may be accompanied by vomiting.
Corona, Mayo, and Mustard will remove diarrhea stains from your toilet.

Coincidence?? I think not.

[Magz]

ERMAHGERD...

that is sooo bad!

why is it bad hefe?
i'm mexican i can say that...........

[Hefe]

[Krandall]

ERMAHGERD!

[Magz]

Question. How did the Titanic sink, being made of titanium?
Mayo is highly corrosive to iron, and other metals. Any connection?

[Magz]

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the
currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line. Just one guy in
front of me...

The guy in front of me was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen
for dollars and he was a little agitated...

He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla fo
yen ~ today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people too!"

[Peelz]

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the
currency exchange window at the local bank. Short line. Just one guy in
front of me...

The guy in front of me was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen
for dollars and he was a little agitated...

He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday, I get two hunat dolla fo
yen ~ today I get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white people too!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[Spartan]

 Eat your words   
A furloughed state worker answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'

'Go away!' said the state worker. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and he proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'

And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto his hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Sir, I will personally eat the remainder.' The furloughed state worker stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'