Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Spider/Paleface513]

Give a crackka some karma then.

[Colorado700R]

West Virginia Dating???

>  A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot.
> He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing.
> The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
> Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine.
> He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, filing her fingernails.
> Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently taps on the driver's window.
> The young man lowers his window. 'Uh, yes, Officer?'
> The cop says: 'What are you doing?'
> The young man says: 'Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine..'
> Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says:
> 'And her, what is she doing?'
> The young man shrugs: 'Sir, I believe she's filing her fingernails.'
> Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple, alone, in a car, at
> night in a lover's lane ... and nothing obscene is happening!
> The cop asks: 'What's your age, young man?'
> The young man says: 'I'm 22, sir.'
> The cop asks: 'And her ... what's her age?'
>
>
>
> The young man looks at his watch and replies:
> 'She'll be 18 in 11 minutes.'

[Spider/Paleface513]

An eskimo's car breaks down in Kentucky. Mechanic says, Looks like you blew a seal.  Eskimo says "So what, i heard ya'll FERK sheep"!

[Out Back Welding]

 

[Krandall]

A little girl and a little boy are at daycare. The girl approaches the boy and says: "Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?"

"Sure!" he says: "What do you want me to do?"

The girl replies: "I want you to communicate your thoughts."

"Communicate my thoughts?" says Tommy bewildered: "What's that supposed to mean?"

The little girl smirks and says: "Perfect. You can be the husband."

[funyun]

 

[Magz]

one to help my buddy peels out   

One foggy night, a Nebraska fan and a Colorado fan were driving the opposite directions on a road near Lincoln. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.

The Colorado fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"

Likewise, the Cornhusker fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.

The Colorado fan walks over to the Cornhusker fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."

The Cornhusker fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."

The Cornhusker fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Buffalo fan, "I think this is another sign - we should toast to our newfound friendship." The Buffalo fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, the Buffalo fan hands it back to the Cornhusker fan and says, "Your turn!"

The Cornhusker fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."

[Peelz]

lol oldie but goody

[Krandall]

A man goes to the movies, looks around and finds only three empty seats with a guy sprawled across them.

"Hey buddy," the man says: "Get up so I can sit down."

The guy squints and says: "Uhhhhh."

"Come on, get up," the man says again. Again the response is the same: "Uhhhhh."

"OK," the man says: "I'm getting the manager."

The manager comes in and tells the guy to get off the seats but only gets the same response. With that, the manager tells the guy in the seats he is getting a cop. The cop comes in and says to the guy: "Hey bud, get outta the seats."

"Uhhhhh," the guy responds.

The cop says: "That's it! I'm going to arrest you!"

"Uhhhhh," the guy responds.

"OK," the cop says: "What's your name?"

"Irving," the guy responds.

"Where are you from?" the cop asks.

"The balcony."

[Spider/Paleface513]

Every feb 14th men get the chance to display their love and affection for the woman in their life but secretly guys feel left out.  there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life.  now there is.  March 20th is now officially Steak, Blowjob, and Shut the FERK up Day.  it's a simple, effective, and self explanatory holiday.  no cards.  no flowers.  no special nights on the town.  just a steak, a blowjob,  and a day where women shut the FERK up. The word is already spreading but like any new idea it needs a little push to get the ball rolling.  so spread the word.

[Peelz]

Every feb 14th men get the chance to display their love and affection for the woman in their life but secretly guys feel left out.  there's no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life.  now there is.  March 20th is now officially Steak, Blowjob, and Shut the FERK up Day.  it's a simple, effective, and self explanatory holiday.  no cards.  no flowers.  no special nights on the town.  just a steak, a blowjob,  and a day where women shut the FERK up. The word is already spreading but like any new idea it needs a little push to get the ball rolling.  so spread the word.

f**king hellz yeah mano!

case of beer and no housework too. 

[Krandall]

ERMAHGERD!!! I'm IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Telling the wife now!

[Peelz]

sounds like a vacation day to me Krandall. wake up to a bj, homecooked breakfast. go riding then drink beer and bbq some steaks.    

[Magz]

Man walks into the doctors turns to the doctor and says:
"I can't stand being 3 feet tall any longer!!!!"
Doctor replies, "Well you'll just have to learn to be a little patient."

[Magz]

This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed."
One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?"
The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"