Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Peelz]

Nice Krandall. Oldie but goodie.

[BRAD]

Why does a hooker make more money than a drug dealer??






















Because a hooker can rewash her crack and sell it again!!!

[Peelz]

I peed a little at this joke B-rad. 

[BRAD]

A Husband was helping his wife set up a password for her computer, he typed in my penis.  His wife hit the floor laughing when the computer said "not long enough"

[exentix]

aaaaaahahahahahah theyre both great 

[Peelz]

FLYNBYU was helping his wife set up a password for her computer, he typed in my penis.  His wife hit the floor laughing when the computer said "not long enough"

fixed it! 

[BRAD]

even better Peels

[FoundArealQuad]

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

[Busby]

A mother and her very young son were flying Westjet Airlines from Ottawa to Calgary . The little boy who had been quietly looking out the window, turned to his mother and said, 'If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an an swer, told her son to go ask the flight attendant. So the boy walked down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, who was busy serving drinks.
She smiled and asked, 'Did your Mom tell you to ask me?' The boy answered, 'Yes, she did.' 'Well, then you go and tell your Mom that there are no baby airplanes because Westjet always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you.'

[Krandall]

One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman... She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in defense of herself. "Your Honor," she began coolly, "I figured that at 92, if he could screw, he could fly."

[Temptation]

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.

However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty! One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

That is good

[Bert]

An average tit weighs 2.3 lbs
Do  you know what an average pussy weighs?
Step on a scale and  call me

[FoundArealQuad]

A retired gentlemen went into the social security office to apply for Social Security.

After waiting in line a long time he got to the counter. The woman behind the counter asked him for his drivers license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "Will I have to go home and come back now?" he asks. The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed his Social Security application. When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, "You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too."

[AJ RAPTOR]

 

Never choke in a pub in Newfoundland    

 

Two newfies walk into a pub. While having
a shot of whiskey, they talk about their
moonshine operation. 

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table,
who is eating a sandwich, beginstocough.
And, after a minute or so, it becomes
apparent that she is in real distress. 

One of the newfies looks at her and says,
'Kin ya swallar?'  The woman shakes
her head no. Then he asks, 'Kin ya
breathe?' The woman begins to turn
blue and shakes her head no. 

The newfie walks over to the woman, lifts
up her dress, yanks down her drawers and
quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with
his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a
violent spasm and the obstruction flies 
out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe
again, the Newfie walks slowly back to the
bar. 

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd herd
of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but 
I ain't niver seen nobody do it!'

[AJ RAPTOR]

Newfie Hooker






A Newfoundlander was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.




'Twenty dollars...' she whispers.

Perry had never been with a hooker before , but decides what the hell, it's only twenty bucks.

So they hide in the bushes.

They're going 'at it' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.
It's a police officer.

'What's going on here, people!!?' asks the officer.

'I'm making love to me wife!,' the Newfoundlander answers sounding annoyed.

'Oh, I'm sorry,' says the cop, 'I didn't know.'
'Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that light in her face!