Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

Hey
Don't say anything but guess who's still together after all the shit between them?

Your buttcheeks 

[FoundArealQuad]

There was this old woman who heard a song called "Two Lips and Seven Kisses." She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, "Do you have "Two Lips and Seven Kisses?"

The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, "No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!"

So the woman asked, "Is this a record?"

To which the man replied, "No, its average!"

[Krandall]

  awesome

[Flynbyu]

Panties on a plane Three black ladies are getting ready to take an airplane trip for the first time.

The first lady said, 'I don't know bout all y'all but I'm gunna wear me sum hot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane.'

'Why you gonna wear dem fo?' the other two asked.

The first replied, 'Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a conefield, dey's gonna find me first.'

The second lady said, 'Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some floe-esant orange panties.'

'Why you gonna wear dem?' the others asked.

The second lady answered, 'Cause if dis hare plane is goin' down and I be floating butt-up in de oshun, dey can see me first.'

The third lady says, 'Well, I aint gonna wear no panties.....'

'What? No panties?' the others asked in disbelief.

The third lady says,  'Dat's right girlfriends, you hears me right. I ain't wearin' any panties, cause if dis plane goes down, honey, dey always looks fo da black box first. 

~Brian

[Peelz]

  "black box"

[cowtownup]

that was hilarious....... 

[FoundArealQuad]

Two pedophiles were walking down the street one day when they came across a pair of small lacey knickers on the ground. The first one picks them up, smells them and goes, "Aahhh... A seven-year-old girl." The other grabs them from him and also takes a smell and goes, "No, no ... Definitely an eight-year-old girl!" The two of them are them smelling them in turns and arguing. "An eight-year-old!", "No, a seven-year-old!", "Definitely an eight-year-old!" .... and so on. The local priest is walking past as the two men argue and can't help but ask them what the commotion is all about.

The first pedophile tells the priest, and asks him if he could sort out the argument, so the priest takes the knickers, has a good long sniff, and after pondering for a few moments he looks at the two men and says: "Definitely an eight-year-old girl! ......... but not from my parish!"

[BRAD]

Thats wrong but funny as hell man

[Flynbyu]

Alter boys don't wear panites!



Great joke though!

~Brian

[disco]

These two guys are in a car pulled over by a state trooper for speeding.  The trooper walks up to the car and the window is up.  He gets his nightstick and taps on the glass.  The driver rolls down the window, "What seems to the problem, officer?"

WHACK!  Trooper smacks the driver in the face with the stick.

"What was THAT for?" sputters the driver.

The trooper says, "the next time you get pulled over, you have your window down and your license and registration in your hand."  The trooper scribbles out the ticket, hands it to the driver and strolls over to the other side of the car.  He draws the nightstick and taps on the passenger window.  The passenger rolls down his window. WHACK!  The trooper smacks him in the face with the stick.

"What the... what's that for?!?" asks the passenger.

Trooper replies, "I'm granting wishes today."

"Granting wishes?  What are you talking about?" asks the passenger.

"Ten miles down the road, you're gonna tell your buddy there 'I wish that SOB would've tried that with ME!'"

[wastednuts]

lol

[BRAD]

good one man

[FoundArealQuad]

Two aliens landed in the West Texas desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us to your leader, or I'll fire!" The other alien shouted to his comrade "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where t hey landed in a heap. When they finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How did you know it was so dangerous?" The other alien answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through the galaxy...any guy who can wrap his dick around himself twice and then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn't mess with!"

[BRAD]

  good one Polarass

[Lady4Fiddy]

I like the alien one, lol.