Post some good jokes here!!!!

[BRAD]

great find busby

[kyledvor61]

  nice

[Peelz]

WARNING - not politically correct!


A man, having applied to join the police force, is being interviewed.

The Inspector says 'Your qualifications are first-class but there is one test that you must pass before I can recruit you.'

Sliding a small bag across the desk, he continues, 'Take this gun, go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six asylum seekers and a rabbit.'

The man says 'Why the rabbit?'

'Fantastic attitude!' says the inspector. 'When can you start?'

[Busby]

The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with John because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
 
The first guy slept in John's room and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you?'  He said, 'John snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.'
 
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing -- hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. They said, 'Man, what happened to you? You look awful!' He said, 'Man, that John shakes the roof. I sat up and watched him all night.'
 
The third night was Frank's turn. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed, looking well rested. 'Good morning,' he said. They couldn't believe it! They said, 'Man, what happened? How did you get a good night's sleep?'
 
He said, 'Well, we got ready for bed. I went over and tucked John into bed, pinched his butt and blew him a kiss good night. He sat up and watched me all night.

[BRAD]

funny man funny

[Lady4Fiddy]

That last one sounds like something I would do just to not have to listen to the snoring. Too bad that wouldn't work on my mom, she saws logs at night, and I can hear her all the way outside when Im sitting on the back porch.

[FoundArealQuad]

 An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting
time
>       the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like
many
>       young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to
do, and
>       he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy
was away
>       at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into
the
>       boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
>
>
>
>        1. A bible.
>
>        2. A silver dollar.
>
>        3. A bottle of whisky.
>
>        4. And a Playboy magazine.
>

>
>
>         'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher
said to
himself.
>       'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object
he
picks
>       up.
>
>         If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me,
and
what a
>       blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to
be a
>       business man, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up
the
>       bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a
shame
>       that would be. And worst of all if he picks up that magazine
he's going
>       to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'
>
>         The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-
steps as
>       he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
>
>         The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to
leave
the
>       room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye,
he
>       walked over to inspect them.
>
>
>        Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
>
>        He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.
>
>         He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired
this
>       month's centerfold.
>
>        'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.
>
>        'He's gonna run for Congress.'

[Peelz]

  Great joke polarass.

[Colorado700R]

Ok, Kyle   


good one Polarass 

[Peelz]

Great joke polarass.

o'tay I fixed it. Better?

[Colorado700R]

Great joke polarass.

o'tay I fixed it. Better?

Much better 

[Krandall]

 


The newlyweds are in their honeymoon room and the groom decides to let the bride know where she stands right from the start of the marriage.

He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at her. He says, "Put those on."

The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."

He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in the family!"

The bride takes off her knickers and throws them at him with the same request, "Try those on!"

He replies,"I can't get into your knickers!"

"And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."

[Krandall]

This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window...

He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs.

"Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor?

"Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies.

He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer."

Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!"

[BRAD]

that fuunny as hell krandall

[Krandall]

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had died, Jenny went straight to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her grandma explained, not holding back anything of course, "He had a heart attack during sex, Sunday morning!" Horrified, Jenny suggested that screwing at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble! "Oh no," her grandma replied. "We had sex every Sunday morning in time with the church bells!" "In with the dings, out with the dongs!" She paused to wipe away a tear, "If it wasn't for that damn Ice Cream Truck, he'd still be alive!!!"