Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Busby]

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the Ottawa River.
 
The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said: 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just  don't get it.'

'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?'
 
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small Croc.

'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'

'Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by the House of Commons.'

'Same here. Hmm... How do you catch them?'

'Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!'

'Ah!' says the big Crocodile, 'I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish
shaking the shit out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an asshole with a briefcase.'

[BRAD]

nothin but a asshole left with a breifcase

[Busby]

yea I almost coughed a lung up when I read that

[Peelz]

hilarious busby.

[BRAD]

A fat colored man finds a magic lamp. His three wished are to be white, skinny and surrounded by pussy!!  the genie says poof mna you a tampon.  another txt message joke

[Peelz]

A fat colored man finds a magic lamp. His three wished are to be white, skinny and surrounded by pussy!!  the genie says poof mna you a tampon.  another txt message joke

  eeew!

[Busby]

A fat colored man finds a magic lamp. His three wished are to be white, skinny and surrounded by pussy!!  the genie says poof mna you a tampon.  another txt message joke

  great one brad    +1

[BRAD]

that ones a special from the g/f she sent it to me

[blueyamaha]

The Correct Way to Come Home Drunk

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other
and says, you know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after
we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the
driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. Take my shoes
off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, get undressed in the
bathroom, stick my foot in the toilet and pee down my leg to prevent
splashing sounds. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up, and yells at
me for staying out so late!
His buddy looks at him and says 'Well, you're obviously taking the wrong
approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps,
pee hard into the toilet water, then use the full flush, throw my shoes in
the closet, undress in the bedroom, then jump into bed, slap her on the
ass and say, WHO'S HORNY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' and .............she
acts like she's sound asleep!
It Works Every Time!

[BRAD]

good one man

[exentix]

  thats awesome

[kyledvor61]

 

[Colorado700R]

What do you call a hot chick with a permanent case of laryngitis, a hysterectomy, and a lobotomy?








































My future wife 

PS. let me know if you find her!! 

[exentix]

  ERMAHGERD 

[Busby]

Quickie in the Bushes

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?' He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's! But let's change positions. This time, I'l l hold the pigeon down and you shit on its head.'