Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Hefe]

  I saw that one cumin!

[Krandall]

Dad and Son are in the living room when dad feet's get cold. "Get my slippers from upstairs" He says.
While upstairs he sees two of his sisters friends so he goes up to both of them, "My Dad told me to come up here and FERK both of you".
"You're lying" they retort.
Okay, I'll prove it then, "Dad, did you say both of them?"
"what's the point of fucking one".

[Krandall]

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls.... I don't want to go to Syria either."

[Peelz]

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt. I'll explain later." The nun agreed... A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls.... I don't want to go to Syria either."

[Hefe]

noice!!!

[Krandall]

90's kids wont get this..




















Social Security.

[Hefe]

hell.. I'm worried 70's kids won't get it

[Peelz]

im laughing and crying simultaneously.

well done. *slow claps* 

[Mad Dog]

A govt in control of its own fiat currency need never go bankrupt, lest someone decides to ferk with the debt ceiling again.

[Peelz]

A govt in control of its own fiat currency need never go bankrupt, lest someone decides to ferk with the debt ceiling again.

you are depressing. this is the joke thread.

[Mad Dog]

You're right...back on topic.

Our Govt 

[Peelz]

You're right...back on topic.

Our Govt 

worlds shortest punchline. 

[Hefe]

much better

[Krandall]

You're right...back on topic.

Our Govt 

I'm sad now

[Peelz]

You're right...back on topic.

Our Govt 

I'm sad now

i do this too. laugh for awhile...then say "youre kidding me!"  then cringe.... then laugh some more-repeat.

you know... I was away from the innernetz briefly, while on the drive and at the beach.... it was glorious. then I come back and see that press conference..... what the hell was that? I was hoping for some levity FINALLY, maybe some facts. NOPE! feel like the new prez sometimes is just Billy Madison giving his thoughts on "Business Ethics" when really, he should have chosen "flaming poo and the human response" which is more his speed. because, at no point during that rambling incoherent response, was he even close to something that could be considered a rational thought. may gerd have mercy on his soul. well, on all of ours,actually.