Post some good jokes here!!!!

[preddy08]

So a guy is sitting at the bar and a hot blonde walks in and sits down next to him.

He says "You remind me of my little toe"

Hot blonde says "Why is that?"

Guy says "I'm gonna take ya home and bang ya on the coffee table"

 

[Cammy]

 

[Krandall]

 

[Colorado700R]

[Magz]

repost maybe!

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini , Italy ,went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
"Father.. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father.. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?

[dragonz]

 

[phucker]

yes mags let her go, damn she has got to be old

[Colorado700R]

Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog.

During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"

She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride!

"Wow...what a worthy goal!" I said. "But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that!"

"What do you mean?" she replied.

So I told her, "You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then you can go over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house."

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"

I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."

Her parents aren't speaking to me.

[Sand84]

 

[phucker]

you mean welcome to being a conservative... lol good joke though

[dragonz]

knock knock..........

[disco]

who's there?

[dragonz]

statue

[Peelz]

statue who?

(i know this one)

[Krandall]