Post some good jokes here!!!!

[who else but rk]

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange,
>>> so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank.
>>> Short line.  Just one lady in front of me. An Asian lady who
>>> was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little
>>> irritated . . She asked the teller, "Why it change?? Yesterday,
>>> I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?? Why it
>>>   change?"
>>>
>>> The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations".
>>>
>>> The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people, too!"

[who else but rk]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

hate to be that guy, but i dont get it

[vern burny]

A man slid into bed next to his wife and asked her if she wanted to have a little fun.  She groaned and said "Not tonight I have to go to the gynecologist tomorrow morning."  The man paused and then asked "Are you going to the dentist tomorrow?"

What do you call a fly when you pull it's wings off?


a Walk.

I know it is stupid but I like that joke.

[Krandall]

A man slid into bed next to his wife and asked her if she wanted to have a little fun.  She groaned and said "Not tonight I have to go to the gynecologist tomorrow morning."  The man paused and then asked "Are you going to the dentist tomorrow?"

What do you call a fly when you pull it's wings off?


a Walk.

I know it is stupid but I like that joke.

[Flynbyu]

Another cheesy joke...

Q: What did the fish say when he hit the wall?




















A: DAM!

~Brian

[LittleBuddha]

How do you brainwash a woman?

Stomp on her douche.

[Flynbyu]

How do you brainwash a woman?

Stomp on her douche.

That rocked!

+10

~Brian

[dungbeetle06]

A distinguished young woman on a flight  from Switzerland asked the
priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a
favor?"

The priest replied: "Of course, what may I do for  you?"

"Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair  dryer for my
mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the custom's limits,
and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any  way you could carry
it through customs for me? Under your robes  perhaps?"

"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."

"With your honest face, Father,  no one will
question you."

When they got to Customs, she  let the priest go ahead of her. The
official asked, "Father, do you  have anything to declare?"

From the top of my head down to  my waist, I have nothing to declare."

The official thought  this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you
have to declare from  your waist to the floor?"

"I have a marvelous instrument  designed to be used on a woman, but
which is, to date,  unused."

Roaring with  laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father.  Next!"

[Flynbyu]

Okay, now for a twisted joke!


Q: What's the advantage of showering with a 12 year old girl?


















A: You can slick her hair back and she'll look like an 8 year old boy.



~Brian

[dungbeetle06]

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is
at work.



Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides
in the bedroom closet to watch.



The woman's husband also comes home.





She puts her lover in the
closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.






The little boy says, 'Dark in here.






The man says, 'Yes, it is.




'


Boy: 'I have a baseball.



'


Man: 'That's nice'


Boy: 'Want to buy it?'


Man: 'No, thanks.





Boy: 'My Dad's outside.


'


Man: 'OK, how much?'


Boy: '$250'


In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the
lover are in the closet together.





Boy: 'Dark in here.



'


Man: 'Yes, it is.





Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.



'


The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'


Boy: '$750'


Man: 'Sold.


'

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove,
let's go outside and have a game of catch h.



'

The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.


'

The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'

Boy: '$1,000'

The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost.



I'm taking you to
church, to confession.


'

They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in
the confessional booth and closes the door.



The boy says, 'Dark in here.





The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my
closet now.

[UncleBeaner]

 

[Colorado700R]

Barbie and G.I. Joe


One afternoon, a woman and her little daughter went into a large toy store. The mother asked her daughter what toys she wanted.

The little girl said, "I want GI Joe and Barbie."

The mother smiled and said, "Darling, you know Barbie doesn't come with GI Joe."

The little girl looked up at her mom and replied, "Mom, Barbie ALWAYS comes with GI Joe. She just FAKES it with Ken."

[kyledvor61]

 

[shookie]

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: 'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?' Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?' 'I would say: Darling (or love), may I please be excused for
a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

[Headrope]

Q: Why does the Navy keep Marines on ships?














A: Because SHEEP would be too obvious!

hate to be that guy, but i dont get it

Don't worry about it. The joke doesn't really work anyway if you know naval history. And besides ... the naval academy's mascot is a goat.