To The Guy Who Mugged Me...

[throttlesteer]

This is probably a repost or people have already seen it but well worth the re-read.

FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
Here's what a 1911 .45 cal handgun looks like...

Here's what it looks like when it's pointed at your head...


This was an actual post placed on Craigslist for
Savannah, GA. The link is dead, dont bother trying it. Just
read what somebody posted.

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown,
Savannah )

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket
that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the
knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my
girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I
drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was
wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it
wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had
just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for
Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for
it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun
walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown
sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes,
cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you
calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug
us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and
explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some
gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless
guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the
cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a
dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your
cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to
know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and
I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so
I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they
haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to
make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office
with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little
rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging
thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure
you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to
help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the
detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and
was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for
not killing you and instead making you walk back home
humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch
and laundry. Peace! - Alex

[Colorado700R]

repost, but still funny 

[blueyamaha]

Ha ha no way!

[zx10r203]

That is so nice of you throttlesteer to offer to pay him back for the detergent he used!!

I would have had him smear that crap all over himself and them walked!!!