Craigslist post

[preddy08]

A Craig's List posting

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand
over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked
for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this
message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to cr*p your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my
jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it
wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber
1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder
holster for it that evening.. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon
when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd
come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was
even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet
with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you
try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as
you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also
bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the
homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your
wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill
in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and
I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going
on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about
to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this
whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've
already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you
for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it
liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead
making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your
choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this
message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace!

- Alex

[Colorado700R]

 


That's awesome  :grin_nod:

[Peelz]

Hell yeah preddy. Hilarious.

[fire raptor]

Thats the best!!

[Krandall]

If that's based on a true story.. HELLS TO THE YEA! 

[Flynbyu]

Which dumpster did you throw my wallet in?



~Brian

[Colorado700R]

Which dumpster did you throw my wallet in?



~Brian

Unclebeaner 

[Flynbyu]

~Brian

[Livingmylife93]

haha.. Thats so awesome.

[BRAD]

thats awesome

[russ-russ]

If that's based on a true story.. HELLS TO THE YEA! 

+1 If that's true, then he's my new hero.

[Dhunter1231]

Which dumpster did you throw my wallet in?



~Brian

          I am dying over here!!!! That shit is funny!!!! 

[Kenneth]

LOL

[fireman5166]

  thats great. 

[Warren]

i wonder if thats true. because if it is then it's funny as hell.