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Author Topic: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0  (Read 124830 times)

Offline Hefe

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1110 on: May 11, 2012, 05:12:46 PM »
:(

Offline Peelz

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Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline Krandall

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Offline Peelz

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Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline Krandall

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Offline Hefe

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1115 on: May 29, 2012, 09:09:44 AM »
I am heading to Miami... any one need me to pick them up anything... some LSD maybe?

Offline Peelz

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1116 on: May 29, 2012, 09:56:05 AM »
you know it  :thumbs:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline Krandall

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Offline Peelz

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1118 on: June 05, 2012, 08:36:28 AM »
PEELZ> GET THE RAPPY!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/feet-sand-leave-farms-wasteland-flooding-085520004.html

Iowa dunes!  :thumbs: finally, a reason to come here :rofl:

theyre trying to remove it... that's dumb. leave it, and charge admission   :confused:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline Colorado700R

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Offline Krandall

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Offline Krandall

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1121 on: June 08, 2012, 07:32:24 AM »


How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature

I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by AdWeek?" I quit that job after two months. Never in human history has a human being looked at an email signature and been like, "Whoa hey, I have to hire that person!"

And yet, email signatures have somehow managed to flourish. I recently got this email from reader Gene about email signatures:

    I noticed this more prevalently in college, but I recently saw someone with a Ghandi quote in their email signature block. What is someone's intention with putting a motivational quote affixed to their emails? Am I supposed to think more of you? Am I to associate that quote you stole from someone else as part of your personal philosophy? What whores.

Damn straight. There are only two good excuses to have an email signature, and here they are:

1. Your company forced one upon you. Most companies do this, forcing you to attach a digital business card to any piece of digital communication you send out. Corporations do this because they are evil and shitty.

2. You want people to have easy access to your contact information. Do you have your phone number and address in your email signature? REFEREE MILLS LANE SAYS HE'LL ALLOW IT. If I ever need to call someone and I never bothered to take down the number (happens daily), then I can just call up any old email from the person and have ready access to it. Ditto the address. That's all well and good, I suppose.

But often, people are unable to resist taking their vital email signature info and then loading it up with heaps and heaps of useless dogshit. Here now are some things that should NEVER be included in your email signature:

Your email address. You just sent me an email. I have your goddamn address already. Don't be an idiot.

Your alma mater. Oh wow, you're Dickinson class of '05? Good for you. NOW CHOKE. This goes especially for you active college students. Don't bother trying to present yourself a serious human being just because you put the name of your school in full and your future graduation year at the end of an email about all the ass you tagged last night. That means you, Taylor Cumberstock, University of California at Santa Barbara Class of the Year of Our Lord 2013. Double cockpunches if you include your major.

Your LinkedIn address. You got hacked and you earned it.

Motivational quotes. This is not a yearbook. I'm just trying to schedule lunch with you. I don't need a quote from Sylvia Plath constantly interrupting us. No one has even been impressed by a quote embedded in an email signature. They are the bumper stickers of digital communication. Speaking of bumper stickers ...

Political rallying cries. Congrats. You just outed yourself a HuffPo troll. I'm never emailing you again.

Colorful fonts. ERMAHGERD! It's your name, but it's in RED! And in comic sans! Pretty spiffy!

A fucking jpeg. Companies that embed jpegs into their email sigs should be disbanded and have all their files dropped into a volcano. And if your company didn't force you to put a jpeg in there and you did it of your own accord, you can go straight to hell. No one wants a fucking attachment every time they get an email. Half the time, the things are corrupt and don't even show up. You are ruining the email experience with your stupid logo.

"Sent from my iPhone/iPad/Macbook Air/Steve Jobs' Gaping Dead Asshole." And, even worse, its sister signature ...

"Sent from [pithy modification to the Sent from My iPhone message]" Sent from your iBone? AHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S FUNNY EVERY TIME I HEAR IT. And don't think trying to apologize for your signature helps. "Sent from my iPad, but not in a snotty way (OK maybe a little)." You went into your preferences specifically to make that cutesy little change when you could have erased your signature forever and spared us all the trouble. YOU PENIS. Email signatures are worthless.




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Offline Krandall

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1122 on: June 08, 2012, 07:34:58 AM »
Peelz, Here's a woman for ya!!

Walmart Shoplifter Cooked Meth to Kill Time

Now, here's a news story that doesn't need bath salts to getcha going: A Walmart in South St. Louis County, Missouri, was evacuated today after a woman detained for shoplifting decided to kill time in the loss prevention room by cooking up a batch of meth.

Whoa there. Who walks around with the fixings for a mini meth lab inside their purse? (Obviously people who do meth!)

A local news site reports that police who searched the woman's purse found what appeared to be a working meth lab cooking inside a plastic bottle. Some people keep a book on hand, in case of any unforeseen downtime... others, it seems, make sure to grab their meth lab before jetting out the door.


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Offline Colorado700R

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1123 on: June 08, 2012, 09:10:22 AM »
"You have an RPG in your leg"
Editor's note: Watch Barbara Starr's report on Sanjay Gupta MD (Saturday at 430pET/Sunday at 730aET).

By Ashley Fantz, with reporting from Barbara Starr and Larry Shaughnessy

If it were a movie, the moment would play slowly.

The big, boyish eyes of 23-year-old Marine Cpl. Perez Winder would widen. His lips would part. The sound of chaos around him would be muted as he watched a rocket-propelled grenade zooming toward him.

Then, snapped back to real time, Winder would look down and think: "Oh, crap! I have an RPG in my leg!"

The whole thing, the entire, awful metal Nerf football-looking RPG was lodged inside his mangled leg. It was maybe a foot long. Its tail - fins, kind of - poked out.

In his shock, the Marine instinctively grabbed his radio to call for help, not realizing that it was totaled.

WATCH: How the RPG rescue unfolded

Winder didn't feel pain. He didn't feel anything. Adrenaline numbed him.


Another day in Musa Qala

It was mid-January in eastern Afghanistan. The Marine unit that Winder led had been deployed for four of their assigned seven months.

January 12 was like most days they'd seen in Musa Qala, the Fortress of Moses, in Helmand Province, a lawless and desolate stretch in southwestern Afghanistan where Pashtun tribes lived. It was hell there for American troops. Winder's men had taken fire several times. Musa was a Taliban stronghold.

Among many other dangerous jobs the Marines had, they were tasked with investigating when reports came in that an improvised explosive device had been found in the area. They got that kind of call on this day. So. They went to check it out, to verify that it was indeed the type of crude bomb that had killed thousands of Americans during the nearly 11-year war. Secure, verify, log, remove. That's what they did.

This call was no different. The IED they were called to check was legit.

When they finished their work, the Marines packed up and were headed back to the base.

It's unclear who fired the RPG that hit Winder. But it came from the south, a direction where the unit had caught fire before.

In the seconds after the Marines scrambled, they realized Winder was down. They ran to him and realized, in an awesomely frightening moment, they were looking down at an unexploded grenade.

Marines do what they have to do. It was no different in this case.

One of the troops leaned over Winder and joked, "I'm glad I have my protective glasses on."

A terrifying vote

The unit lifted and moved the wounded Marine quickly to a secure spot where they could avoid being hit by any more incoming fire. They tied a tourniquet and called for assistance.

A U.S. Army Medivac team that happened to be flying already was radioed.

Pilot Capt. Kevin Doo should head toward Winder's location.

He listened as he was told Winder's situation. The crew understood the stakes immediately.

Moving Winder into their helicopter meant moving the RPG. The device could explode at any minute. It could go off while they made the 65-mile flight to the nearest medical facility. All aboard could die. At the very least, medics working over Winder could take devastating shrapnel wounds if the RPG exploded.

"There was quite a bit of alarm among the crew at the time, as you can imagine," Doo said.

"Each of us on the aircraft had to agree to take this patient on," said Spc. Mark Edens, one of the medics aboard.

Each medic on the helicopter voted. It was unanimous. They were going to try to save the Marine's life.

'You have an RPG in your leg'

Winder would have likely bled out if the RPG had hit his femoral artery. The device was lodged only a few millimeters away.

When the medics touched down, troops lifted Winder and placed him in the helicopter.

Incredibly, he was still alert.

"Are we good?" Winder shouted.

The bird lifted off and flew to the nearest medical unit. Every minute felt like an hour.

They landed at a base, and Winder was gingerly removed.

By this time, he had started to feel. He asked Navy trauma nurse Lt. Cmdr. James Gennari for more painkillers.

Though the medicine was thick in his veins at this point, Winder was still clear-headed enough to notice that there didn't seem to be a rush of medics around his gurney.

"Where is everybody?" he asked.

"You have an RPG in your leg, and everybody's staying away from you," Gennari answered. He decided to tend to Winder alone thinking, "I am not going to ask somebody to do what I am not going to do."

Winder fully realized, "I'm not the one being protected. I am the one being protected from." He was quiet.

"I promise you," Gennari told Winder. "I will not leave you until that thing is out of your leg."

"Cool," Winder uttered, and then passed out.

An unusual recovery

With Winder knocked out, explosives expert Army Staff Sgt. Benjamin Summerfield came to help and began the crude but necessary work of getting that RPG out of his body.

Gennari grabbed the fins of the weapon protruding from Winder's flesh. The RPG budged a little.

An explosives expert stood next to Gennari and gingerly wrapped his fingers around the device. The RPG was stuck. The two then pulled the fins downward toward Winder's feet and yanked again.

Finally, the hulking metal came loose from Winder's flesh, and a specialist carried the device.

The medic stuffed the gaping hole in Winder's leg with sterile cotton and tightened his tourniquet.

He was carried into surgery.

Days later, Winder woke up in a military hospital in Germany.

He opened his eyes and saw nurses. He immediately reached down to check to see whether he still had his leg.

He felt for the leg that had been ravaged by the RPG. It was still there.

"Am I going to be able to keep it?" he asked.

Highly motivated

For months, doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, where he's been slowly recovering, have made sure that Winder has the best possible chance of not only keeping his leg but walking again.

In fact, Winder has recovered in a way that has shocked his doctors.

He's now walking with a cane. The braces he wore when doctors secured his shattered femur are now gone. Scars on his left leg are visible when he sits, and his black Nike shorts crop up a little.

"Imagine someone heating up a pole and putting it in your leg, and imagine that attached to that pole is a bomb," said Winder's trauma surgeon, Lt. Cmdr. Elliot Jessie. "We were concerned whether he would keep his leg or not. He had a big injury, a lot of soft tissue damage."

There's no simple explanation for why Winder has recovered so swiftly, he said.

It's lucky that the RPG missed his femoral artery, sure, said Jessie. But there's also something intangible about the way troops like Winder get better.

"He's a Marine, so he's highly motivated," said Jessie. "The first thing they want to know is when can I get back to my unit and when can I get back to being me. ... That makes taking care of them relatively easy."

Winder sat in a metal folding chair in a small room at Walter Reed, answering questions from a reporter. He looks like a typical 23-year-old. You have to look closely to see his scars.

He speaks clearly and calmly. He's polite and direct.

"I sure didn't want anyone losing their life over me," he said, recalling the trepidation the troops had to work on him.

He talks about why he enlisted at 18. No one in his family had been in the military, and it seemed like the right thing to do.

He grew up in the Bronx. He joked that being a Dominican-American requires that he love baseball.

'This is my job'

Some of his buddies from his unit are home now. They have visited him. Two weeks ago, he went with them to take in an Orioles versus Yankees game in Baltimore.

He's a Yankees fan, of course. "They lost but, hey, I got to see them," Winder jokes.

It was so nice to just with them again, be normal, not the guy who went through all this hell.

"We went out," he said. "We drank a little. Did man stuff. ... We didn't really talk about stuff we went through over there."

Winder wants to be able to get on a patch of grass soon and hit a few balls.

Of course, he does. He will. When he says this, it isn't sentimental. His voice has an edge, but he's not going to lose control of his emotions, especially not in front of a news crew taping his interview for CNN.

"What, am I going to sit around and cry about it?" he says.

He sees a lot of guys in rough shape at Walter Reed. It's hard to compare bad experiences in war, but he's seen guys who've had it pretty awful.

There were guys in his unit who didn't come home, Winder is asked.

"We had our downs," he replies.

It's a hard thing to explain to people who haven't been there.

"From the time I got hit, to the time I got knocked out, I'll be honest with you, I wasn't thinking about it. It would've been a big explosion. I wouldn't have felt a thing," he said, stressing each word so that he can be better understood.

"The thing I was thinking about is: 'Who is going to lead my Marines? Who is going to take over for me? Are they better off without me?' " he said. "That's everybody's biggest fear - having to leave your Marines behind.

"This is my job. My job included a lot of stuff that may happen. One of those things happened to me. But those guys, those guys, they were there for me."


Offline Peelz

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Re: Breaking News Thread Version 2.0
« Reply #1124 on: June 27, 2012, 08:50:53 AM »
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"