Hangs up, locks up and forks: Have I had my phone freeze? Yep! Have I seen Nicoles phone freeze (6s 64GB). Yep!
I've had a work iphone 5 for just shy of 2 years, a personal iphone 5s for about 6-7 months. I can count on one hand the times I've had to manually restart them because something froze up. Meanwhile my last android (LG Volt) this was so common an occurrence it's what caused me to buy the personal iphone.
Cant get an OS update on any of your phones: I don't think that's an android issue but what kind of phone you bought/carrier issue. If you were completely worried about updates, you'd end up with a Nexus. unless you have a flagship phone it doesn't matter what manufacturer or carrier you use. I had LG, HTC, and one or two more I can't remember and for each the updates are rarely available for a single point update let alone a full update. The HTC (work phone) was a flagship when gingerbread came out, didn't get an upgrade either.
Apps are full of spyware: 
come on mad dog. This is 2016... Unless you're a person who's also getting TONS of spyware on their PC.. I don't really think this is an issue. BUT, to androids defense. This is both a plus and minus of how they designed their app store. My PC is always at home and I can unplug my webcam or disable devices, my phone is with me and has a microphone and GPS which can be always on. That's why it's important and there are TONS of seemingly legitimate apps that still throw in ads and ask for access to things they have no need for. This is why, to this day, I dont' install FB or any related material on any of my phones, even the iphone.
Give me control of app permissions: This is there/new in Marshmallow. 
Brand new and only for the latest phones. got a 6 month old phone? Doesn't have marshmallow and, like I said before, won't fucking update.
Learn what encryption is: Now this one feels like a low blow. Do you mean encryption out of the box/turned on by default or something else? My phones have all been encrypted since my 2nd Android phone. It's not on by default but it's nearly always been an option. I have no idea how long iOS has allowed it?I mean that android phones almost never have the hardware on hand to handle the encryption so instead of dedicated silicon accelerating the process and access android phones dump it on to the CPU for a nasty performance penalty, even for my LG Volt that had a quad core processor.
TL;DR
If you gave me these arguments 4 years ago, I wouldn't disagree.I can believe that it is better at the top of the heap but for someone like me who chooses to invest less in their phone and plan the problems are still real IME. I'd rather pay ~$200 for an older flagship iphone because a similarly priced old flagship android won't solve these issues.
Maddog...
I am not on some sort of high-horse or trying to stick it to the man..
I could rant for days about how shitty all of it is... blah blah...
I just don't want another reason to have to use my damn phone...
I don't enjoy my phone, I don't want to use it more than I need to.
I have to have it so my ex-wife can reach me in the event of Spencer needing me
and if Starla needs me of course.. mom, brother.. etc..
the occasional funny from Peels or Randy or you.. that's just a bonus!
My dumb-ass cousin posting churchy shit on FB is NOT something I want or need in my life
or my Niece (I do love her.. a lot) .. babbling on and on about horses.. or sending me Memes with puppies... NO THANKS!
but when I go out in the garage and grab some wrenches... I don't want my phone blowing up unless it's important..
Casey has his damn phone attached to him all the time.. and I friggin hate that!
The Apple watch has really helped me with that.. quick glance at my watch tells me if it is Important or not.. I choose to answer or ignore without going to my phone.. pretty nice for that!
You don't have to check it like a fricking teenager, once a day to see the snaps or to post one would be fine. I go 2+ days before seeing stuff from Peels/Randy at times but I still get to see it, that's the point; we all share in the experience even if it's 12-24 hours later.
Peels,
Yes I have two of these headsets so I always have a freshly charged one waiting in the wings. I wear it from the time I leave my apt/hotel in the morning until I get back to go to bed and can be anywhere from 6-20 hours. It is quite literally a lifesaver on the road not having to look or reach for a phone while driving 70mph but simply to press the thing in my ear. I'm no traveling salesman but I still average about 35k miles a year on the road. I have conference calls that are between 20 and 90 minutes long every other day. I typically have to make upwards of 8 calls a day to my home office and countless more to contractors and suppliers for coordination and support. All this while I'm expected to get shit done in front of me which often includes typing on a computer (much faster w/ 2 hands), moving from room to room or device to device, or checking wiring and/or voltages with meters. Add to this that cell phones get hot and dirty held up to your head and that you're getting a much bigger dose of radiation and I feel as though using a headset is the most efficient way of getting through my day. I don't believe this makes me "self-important" because I'm trying to do more than one thing at a time. Sure there are certain instances when you can't take a call but the use of the earpiece doesn't change the social norms, if it's not polite to be holding the phone to your ear it's no more polite to be on the earpiece.
With that, I'm glad I was able to interact with you all today. While I may have ruffled a few feathers it's surely more engaging than sharing a few imgur links though perhaps a bit less "funny" but enjoyable in another way to have stimulating conversation with people you respect.
