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Author Topic: Post some good jokes here!!!!  (Read 118210 times)

Offline darkside94

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #270 on: September 14, 2008, 01:53:12 PM »
West Virginia...the only place you can divorce your wife and you will still see her at the family reunion.
The grammatically challenged's punching bag.

Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #271 on: September 14, 2008, 01:53:44 PM »
 :rofl: better wear your riding armour & helmet just incase  :lol:
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Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #272 on: September 14, 2008, 01:54:27 PM »
PMSL & to think I used to date a girl in WV
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Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #273 on: September 14, 2008, 01:56:47 PM »
Ok last one from me for a bit, gonna go watch a movie.

A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.'

The wife says nothing,keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. 'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,' He says, 'because I've been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are.'
Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently..

Up to 80. 'I want the car, too,' he continues.

85 mph. 'And,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!'

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, 'Isn't there anything you want?'

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
'No, I've got everything I need,' she says.
'Oh, really,' he inquires, 'so what have you got?'

Just before they slam into the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles. 'The airbag



(P.S New T-Shirt Designs up in the competition area if you want to look)
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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #274 on: September 14, 2008, 06:22:23 PM »
 :lol:  Busby, that's great! :rofl:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline kyledvor61

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #275 on: September 14, 2008, 07:09:06 PM »
 :rofl: :rofl:

Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #276 on: September 16, 2008, 09:44:05 AM »
A Glasgow senior citizen drove his brand new BMW Z3 convertible
out of the  car salesroom. Taking off down the motorway, he
floored it to 90 mph  enjoying the wind blowing through what
little hair he had left. 'Amazing!'  he thought as he flew along
the M8, enjoying pushing the pedal to the metal  even more.
Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a police car behind him,
blue lights flashing and siren blaring. 'I can get away from
him - no  problem!' thought the elderly Stirling Moss as he
floored it to 110 mph,  then 120, then 130 mph. Suddenly, he
thought, 'What on earth am I doing? I'm  too old for this
nonsense!'
So he pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the
police car to  catch-up with him. Pulling in behind him, the
police officer walked up to  the driver's side of the BMW,
looked at his watch and said, 'Sir, my shift  ends in 10
minutes. Today is Friday and I'm heading off for the weekend. If
you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never
heard before,  I'll let you go.'
The man, looked very seriously at the policeman, and replied,
'Years ago, my  wife ran off with a policeman. I thought you
were bringing her back' 
'Have a good day, Sir,' said the policeman
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #277 on: September 16, 2008, 09:49:21 AM »
 :lol: :lol: :lol:


Nice!


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Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #278 on: September 16, 2008, 09:51:35 AM »
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so
he sees
another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he
does sign language. He points at his eye meaning 'I', points at his knee
meaning
'need', and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts
masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and
says,
'What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!'

The other guy says, 'I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm
coming.
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Offline Busby

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #279 on: September 16, 2008, 09:53:27 AM »
There is a medical distinction.
 
We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but
do you
really know the difference between them? In an effort to
keep you
informed to alleviate further confusion, the following
definitions are listed below:
 
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the
guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to
ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #280 on: September 16, 2008, 09:58:29 AM »
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so
he sees
another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he
does sign language. He points at his eye meaning 'I', points at his knee
meaning
'need', and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts
masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and
says,
'What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!'

The other guy says, 'I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm
coming.

I am seriously in tears!   :rofl:  down-right hysterical!

he's funny...and he can design t-shirts...look out world! :lol:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline BRAD

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #281 on: September 16, 2008, 10:14:17 AM »
:rofl: them was great busby
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Holeshot HD tires

Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #282 on: September 16, 2008, 10:26:13 AM »
:rofl: I'm coming.  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:


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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #283 on: September 16, 2008, 10:28:49 AM »
:rofl: them was great busby


"them was great?"  ERMAHGERD B-rad. Doing the south proud! :lol:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline kyledvor61

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #284 on: September 16, 2008, 03:15:29 PM »
A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw so
he sees
another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't hear, so he
does sign language. He points at his eye meaning 'I', points at his knee
meaning
'need', and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts
masturbating.

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and
says,
'What the hell is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!'

The other guy says, 'I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm
coming.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: