Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar.
He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows:
Hamburger - 2.99
Cheeseburger - 3.99
Chicken Sandwich - 4.99
Hand Jobs - 19.99
The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" The bartender blushes slightly and says "Yes, I am" with a sexy little smile.
The biker grins and says "Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger."

[Krandall]

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests He says "I'm ." The first priest says "no son you're not." The drunk turns to the other priest, "I'm " to which the second priest replies "no son you're not." So the drunk says "Look I'll show you." So he walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says " you're here again?"

[Peelz]

A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs right into two priests He says "I'm <Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain>." The first priest says "no son you're not." The drunk turns to the other priest, "I'm <Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain>" to which the second priest replies "no son you're not." So the drunk says "Look I'll show you." So he walks back into the bar with the two priests. The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says "<Thou shalt not use the Lord's name in vain> you're here again?"

lol thought i missed something...
then I quoted.
your joke got filter f**ked. 

[Krandall]

[preddy08]

What happens when you fart in church?



You sit in your own pew 



I'll be here all night boys and girls!

[Krandall]

[Peelz]

What happens when you fart in church?



You sit in your own pew 



I'll be here all night boys and girls!

man, i miss this guy......


welcome to the world of late night interweb trollin while trying to keep your new baby alive. That's how I got here

[Krandall]

A kid asks his dad What's the difference between realistically and potentially?
The father responds with "Go ask your siblings and your mother if they would have sex with a celebrity for a million dollars."
The boy asks his mom "Would you have sex with George Clooney for a million dollars?"
The mother responds " While I am a married woman, that is a lot of money. He is also a very attractive man."
The boy asks his sister "Would you have sex with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
"Well of course! " she exclaims.
Finally he asks his brother "Would you have sex with Tom Cruise for a million dollars"
And he hums and haws about it "I dunno man, well... That is a lot of money. Yeah alright I'd do it."
When the boy sees his father again the father asks " Did you figure out the difference between potentially and realistically?"
"Yes father, Potentially were sitting on $3,000,000. Realistically were living with two whores and a fag."


 

[Krandall]

A young cowboy walks into the saloon. He sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded, staring blankly at a full bowl of chicken congee. After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the young cowboy bravely asked the old cowboy, "If you ain't gonna eat that, mind if I do?"
The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."
Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl over to his place and starts spooning in it with delight. He gets nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse. The sight was shocking and he immediately barfs up the congee back into the bowl.
The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

[Krandall]

Anal sex is like broccoli....
If you're forced to have it as a kid, yo won't enjoy it as an adult.

[Peelz]

LOL!!!!!! 

[Krandall]

Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say,
'Edna,I'd like to ride in that helicopter'
Edna always replied,
'I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said,
'Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance'
To this, Edna replied,
"Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks'
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said,
'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Buddy replied,
'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, Fifty bucks is fifty bucks!'

[Krandall]

Why did the sperm cross the road?


I put the wrong sock on this morning.

[Peelz]

Why did the sperm cross the road?


I put the wrong sock on this morning.

 

[Krandall]

google mischief 

https://www.google.com/maps/place/33%C2%B030'52.5%22N+73%C2%B003'33.2%22E/@33.5169848,73.0597719,15z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0x0?hl=en