Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Peelz]

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says: "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic: "Next semester, in her biology class."

fozzie bear says "wokka wokka wokka!!!"

[Krandall]

Taking Back Sunday - "Divine Intervention"

[Peelz]

Taking Back Sunday - "Divine Intervention"

funny joke silly.

[Krandall]

Get it?!!

[Magz]

kind od a dumb joke but what the hay.


A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no sex after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Marion ... Marion" "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob are you in heaven?"


"No ... I'm a rabbit in Arizona."

[Krandall]

A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," said the priest. "That's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me $20 for every week he stayed," the man explained.

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause," the priest replied.

"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind,” the man said. “I have one more question, though."

"What is that, my son?" the priest inquired.

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

[Spider/Paleface513]

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Kim asked him if there was anything wrong,
'Yes, Nurse Kim,' said Mr. Wallace.
'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my
condolences.'The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Part hangingout of his pajamas.He met Nurse Kim. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,
'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'
'But, Nurse Kim I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.
'Yes,' said Nurse Kim, 'you did tell me that,
but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'
(You've gotta love this.)
'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing:..

[dick-84]

LMFAO!!!     

[Gunz]

Grandma and Grandpa are sitting on the porch swing.

Grandma looks over at Grandpa and kicks him onto the floor and says "That's for 50 years of bad sex!"

Grandpa gets up, dust himself off, and sits back down on the swing. Reaches over and kicks Grandma onto the floor.

Grandma says "What was that for?"

Grandpa says "That's for knowing the difference!"

[Krandall]

[Krandall]

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him.

"Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"I know," said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

[Krandall]

A minister had worked himself up into a frenzy while delivering a sermon on Heaven and Hell.

"Stand up if you want to go to Heaven!" he entreated his congregation.

Everyone in the church rose at once, except a fellow in the front row.

"Are you telling me that you don't want to go to Heaven when you die?" the minister asked the man.

"When I die, sure," the man replied: "I thought you were getting up a load to go right now."

[Krandall]

A man arrives in Hell and is met by the Devil. He is told he can choose from three different types of torture that run in 1,000-year cycles. In the first room, there’s a man hanging upside down being whipped.

“No, thank you,” says the man.

The two then proceed to the second room, where another man is being beaten with a stick. Again the man turns down this room.

In the third room, there’s a naked man strapped to a wall getting a blowjob from a beautiful blonde. The man immediately shouts: “I’ll start here!”

“Are you sure?” asks the Devil: “Remember, this lasts for eternity.”

After the man assures the Devil this is his chosen torture, Satan turns to the blonde and says: “You can go now – I found your replacement.”

[Krandall]

Q. What's the difference between a savings bond and a musician?

A. The savings bond will eventually mature and make money.



Sending this one on to a few of my high school buds.     

[Hefe]

I have just the person to send that one to as well!