Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Spartan]

Short Circuit?

[Peelz]

Short Circuit?

I bringz da karmaz. 

[Hefe]

MY FATHER IS A STRIPPER IN A GAY BAR

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he finally replied,

"Okay...my father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.  Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will Go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No", the boy said, "He actually works for the Democratic National Committee and helped get Barack Obama elected President last year, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class."

[Peelz]

MY FATHER IS A STRIPPER IN A GAY BAR

SOmehow I knew there was a reason you chose your profession. 

lol funny ass joke.

[Colorado700R]

MY FATHER IS A STRIPPER IN A GAY BAR

One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he finally replied,

"Okay...my father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men and they put money in his underwear.  Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will Go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No", the boy said, "He actually works for the Democratic National Committee and helped get Barack Obama elected President last year, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the class."

BHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Krandall]

A brave knight must go off to fight in the Crusades, so he leaves his sexy wife at home. As she can't be trusted, he fits her with a lethal chastity belt made out of razor blades.

On his victorious return, he lines up all his male staff and makes them drop their trousers. He is greeted by a whole line of shredded willies, except for one. He goes up to the man and says: "Unlike all the others, you have not betrayed my trust. In return I shall give you half my land."

To which the faithful servant replies: "Ugg ou gery muk."

[Peelz]

A brave knight must go off to fight in the Crusades, so he leaves his sexy wife at home. As she can't be trusted, he fits her with a lethal chastity belt made out of razor blades.

On his victorious return, he lines up all his male staff and makes them drop their trousers. He is greeted by a whole line of shredded willies, except for one. He goes up to the man and says: "Unlike all the others, you have not betrayed my trust. In return I shall give you half my land."

To which the faithful servant replies: "Ugg ou gery muk."

LOL!

[Lady4Fiddy]

When an old lady pokes you at a wedding and says "your next" just do the same to them at a funeral.   

[exentix]

When an old lady pokes you at a wedding and says "your next" just do the same to them at a funeral.   

wow thats terrible

[Spider/Paleface513]

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Tennessee, Carolina, Texas, Kansas, and OKLAHOMA boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists: 1. The season opened today. 2. There is no limit. 3. They don't like beer, pickup trucks, fishing, country music or Jesus. 4. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt. and 5. Their favorite movie is BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Next Friday!

Sincerely, rednecks

[Spartan]

Oldie but goldie

[Krandall]

In the men's room at work, the boss places a sign directly above the sink. It has a single word on it: "Think!"

The next day, he returns and finds a sign right below it, next to the soap dispenser. On it someone has carefully written another sign that reads: "Thoap!"

[Krandall]

The New York City subway car was packed. It was rush hour, and many people were forced to stand. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said: "Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!"

"I don't know what you're talking about miss -- That's just my pay check in my pocket," he said.

"Oh really!" she spat: "Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half-hour!"

[Krandall]

A young man is walking through the Sahara desert, desperate for water, when he sees something far in the distance. Hoping to find water, he walks toward the image, only to find a little old man sitting at a card table with a bunch of neckties laid out on it.

"I'm dying of thirst,” the young man says: “Can I please have some water?"

The old man at the card table replies: "I don't have any water, but why don't you buy a tie? Here's one that goes nicely with your ripped clothes."

The young guy shouts: "I don't want a tie, you idiot, I need water!"

"Okay, don't buy a tie,” the old man says: “But to show you what a nice guy I am, I'll tell you that over that hill there, about four miles, is a nice restaurant. Walk that way -- they'll give you all the water you want."

The young man thanks him and walks toward the hill until he eventually disappears. Three hours later, he comes crawling back to where the man was sitting behind his card table. The old man greets him and says: "Couldn't you find the restaurant?"

The young man rasps, "I found it all right. They wouldn't let me in without a tie."

[Krandall]

A guy was passing a bar when he noticed a sign in the window that said: "Free beer for life. Just pass the test."

He went in and asked the bartender: "What is the test?"

"All you have to do," said the bartender: "is drink a pint of vodka, go into the backyard and extract a tooth from an alligator, and then go upstairs and satisfy a woman who has never been satisfied."

"No problem," said the guy. He immediately drank the vodka, and went into the yard. Several minutes later, after considerable commotion, he reappeared in the bar and said: "Now, where's that woman with the sore tooth?"