Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Krandall]

[Spartan]

A man doing market research knocked on a door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet.

He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?

She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'

'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'

'We use it for sex.'

The researcher was a little taken back.'Usually people lie to me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a gate hinge. But,in fact,I know that most people do use it for sex.I admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me exactly how you use it for sex?'

The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all. My husband and I put it on the door knob and it keeps the kids out.'

[Krandall]

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant: "What was the problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant: "And it took us a while to find a new pilot."

[Magz]

he's screwed.

[Colorado700R]

> > > > Fred works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Fred! How ya doin?'
> > > >
> > > > His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
> > > >
> > > > 'Oh no,' says Fred. 'He's in my bowling league.
> > > >
> > > > When they are seated, a waitress asks Fred if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
> > > >
> > > > His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
> > > >
> > > > 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.
> > > >
> > > > I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'
> > > >
> > > > A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Fred, starts to rub herself all over him and says,
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > 'Hi Freddie. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
> > > >
> > > > Fred's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
> > > >
> > > > Fred follows and spots her getting into a taxi.
> > > >
> > > > Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
> > > >
> > > > Fred tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .
> > > >
> > > > She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book..
> > > >
> > > > The cabby turns around and says,
> > > >
> > > > 'Geez Fred, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Fred's funeral will be on Saturday.

[Magz]

lol

[Peelz]

[exentix]

Lmao

[preddy08]

Anyone know what the gay horse says? (Other than thanks Peelz)




(In my best gay voice) Heeeeeeeeyyyyy!

[Peelz]

Anyone know what the gay horse says? (Other than thanks Peelz)

Is it: "is that all you got shawn?"

[Colorado700R]

Anyone know what the gay horse says? (Other than thanks Peelz)




(In my best gay voice) Heeeeeeeeyyyyy!

It says the same things that mrs peelz says

1 Are you done yet?

2 I feel nothing

3 Zzzz....Zzzz

[Krandall]

A 6-year-old goes to the hospital with her Grandma to visit her Grandpa. When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa's room.

"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly: "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"

"What?" asked her Grandpa.

"Make a noise like a frog -- because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we're all going to Disneyland!”

[Krandall]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away.

The undertaker told the husband: "You can have her shipped home for $5,000 or you can bury her here, in the Holy Land, for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked: "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied: "Long ago a man died here, was buried here and three days later he rose from the dead." Shaking his head, he continued: "I just can't take that chance."

[Krandall]

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

When he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled: "Let's go! Let's go!"

The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer: "and make three or four low-level passes."

"Why?" asked the pilot.

"Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause, the pilot said: "You mean you're not the instructor?"

[Lady4Fiddy]

For all those men who say "why marry the cow when you can get the milk free?"

Here's an update for you! Nowadays 80% of woman are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just for a little sausage!!!!!!