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Author Topic: Post some good jokes here!!!!  (Read 118217 times)

Offline NaturalRaptor

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1500 on: April 01, 2010, 10:41:12 AM »
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St.Peter to process them into Heaven.

While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. 'Let me go find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple is still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'


After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'


St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground 'What's wrong?' asked the now frightened and confused couple.

'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months to find a
priest up here! Do you have ANY IDEA how long it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!'
It takes 43 muscle's to frown and 17 to smile, but only 3 for proper trigger pull.

Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1501 on: April 01, 2010, 11:37:57 AM »
:rofl:


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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1502 on: April 02, 2010, 07:21:35 AM »
Q: What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper?

A: About two weeks.


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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1503 on: April 02, 2010, 10:52:36 AM »
Q: What is the difference between a waitress who works in a strip club and an actual stripper?

A: About two weeks.

:rofl:
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1504 on: April 02, 2010, 12:41:41 PM »
no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1505 on: April 02, 2010, 12:42:22 PM »
Bloodhound gang FTMFW! 8)


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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1506 on: April 02, 2010, 02:44:29 PM »
no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

and telling you they do it for their babies :lol: :lol: :lol:
Krandall: "peelz. I'll be real with you. As much as I hate on you for soccer, I really don't mind it"


Offline dragonz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1507 on: April 05, 2010, 03:32:57 AM »
no.. its the amount of crying

Lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

and telling you they do it for their babies :lol: :lol: :lol:
Nothing wrong with supporting single mothers!
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1508 on: April 05, 2010, 09:34:53 AM »
those T-shirts are all over Vegas!

Offline dragonz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1509 on: April 06, 2010, 04:30:29 AM »
those T-shirts are all over Vegas!
Never been to Vegas
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1510 on: April 06, 2010, 07:22:41 AM »
A big game hunter goes on an African safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife wakes up to find her mother gone. Immediately, she awakens up her husband and they both set off to find the old woman. Suddenly, they break into a clearing and there's the mother-in-law, standing face-to-face with a ferocious lion!

"Quick, darling," the wife shouts frantically: "Do something!"

"Oh, no," the husband says: "That lion got himself into this mess. Let him get himself out!"


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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1511 on: April 06, 2010, 08:44:43 AM »
:lol:

My Mother in law rocks!

Offline preddy08

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1512 on: April 06, 2010, 09:09:05 PM »
You know how to piss off Aaron?

When you done fucking him in the ass wipe your shitty dick on his new blinds  :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1513 on: April 07, 2010, 09:04:54 AM »
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife, pinched her on the bottom, and said: "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this offended her, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said: "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra." This, she decided, was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed his crotch.

With a death grip in place, she said: "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener and the pool man."


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Offline Colorado700R

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1514 on: April 07, 2010, 09:15:47 AM »
The Pope and Nancy Pelosi found themselves seated up on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.
 
The Pope leaned towards Mrs. Pelosi and said, "Do you know that with one small wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy?  This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and they'll forever speak of this moment and rejoice with profound happiness?"
 
Pelosi replied, "With one little wave of your hand, your Popeness?  I seriously doubt that.  Show me!"
 
So the Pope backhanded her.