Post some good jokes here!!!!

[Spider/Paleface513]

  that smilely instead of posting N word it said I'm a rasist. Which I'm not best msn at wedding was a black man I have a black duaghter been doing my part for 16 years now hate the dual standards.

[Peelz]

That is a good filter. we don't need rs showing up in a racist search.

[Spider/Paleface513]

Yeah I feel ya,I vented some I'm over it. Just one question why stop at one word. There's a whole gang of offinsive words out there.

[Peelz]

Yeah I feel ya,I vented some I'm over it. Just one question why stop at one word. There's a whole gang of offinsive words out there.

there are more. C-Word type c-u-n-t  Admin can filter any word they want.

[Krandall]

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says: "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this man."

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on, very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says: "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says: "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck."

[Colorado700R]

An old Pilot sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
   
   As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him . . .
   
    
   She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'
   
    
   He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying biplanes, Cubs,
   Aeronca's, Neiuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean
   conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreds, so I guess I
   am a pilot.'
   
    
   
   She said, 'I'm a lesbian.  I spend my whole day thinking about naked women.
   As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women.  When I
   shower, I think about naked women.  When I watch TV, I think about naked
   women.  It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
   
    
   
   The two sat sipping in silence.
   
    
   
   A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old
   pilot and asked:  "Are you a real pilot?"
   
    
   
   He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

[Spider/Paleface513]

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with a hot girl @ work, but she had a boyfriend. One day Eddie got so desperate that he went to her and said i'll give u a $100 if u let me have sex with u. The girl looked @ him shocked n said no! He said i'll be real quick. I'll throw the money on the floor u bend down n i'll finish by the time you've picked it up. She thought 4 a moment n said that she would have to consult with her boyfriend so she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, ask him for $200. Pick up the money really really fast, n he won't even be able to get his pants down. She agreed n accepts the proposal. 30 Min go by n the boyfriend is still waitin 4 his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls n asks, "What happened?" still breathing hard and moaning she managed to reply, This mother fucker only had QUARTERS

[Krandall]

spider!!!!

[Krandall]

Two men were seated next to each other on a plane when the first man turned to his seatmate and said: "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

"What would you like to discuss?" the second man asked.

"Oh, I don't know," said the first man: "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," the second man replied: "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first: A horse, a cow and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Jeez," said the first man: "I have no idea."

"Well, then," said the second man: "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

[Spider/Paleface513]

LMAO!!!

[Peelz]

good one wandi

[Magz]

good one wandi

^ kiss ass trying to get Randy's pee pee in his mouth....

[Magz]

A man sat down at a bar and told the bartender, "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can piss into the cup all the way over there on the other side of the bar and not miss a single drop."
The bartender said, "There is no way you can do that. Sure, I'll bet you three hundred dollars."
The man then begins to undo his pants and begins pissing. He starts pissing all over the bar, spraying on the bottles and the bartender, not making a single drop in the cup.
The bartender starts smiling and laughing and says, "That's it, you owe me three hundred dollars."
The man then gets up and walks over to the pool table and starts laughing and shaking hands with the men standing there. He walks back to bar, sits down and starts laughing at the bartender and hands him the money.
The bartender asks, "Why are you laughing? You just lost the bet."
The man said, "I'm laughing because I bet those guys over there one thousand dollars that I could piss all over you and your bar and you would still be laughing when I was done."

[Magz]

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

[Krandall]

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. Less than 200 yards down the road, he's stopped by a police officer.

"Good evening, Sir," the officer says: "We're testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?"

"I'm sorry," the man replies: "I can't do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will run out of air."

"Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test," the officer says.

"I can't do that," the man replies: "I have hemophilia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death."

"Then you'll have to get out and walk five yards along this white line," the officer says.

"I can't do that either," the man responds.

"Why not?" the officer asks.

"Because I'm drunk."