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Author Topic: Post some good jokes here!!!!  (Read 118456 times)

Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1530 on: April 13, 2010, 01:51:59 PM »
I have heard all of those, but #5 makes me laugh every time!
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1531 on: April 14, 2010, 08:33:56 AM »
A woman turns to her husband in bed and asks: "Do you only love me because my father died and left me a fortune?"

"That's crazy. Of course not," her husband says: "I'd love you no matter who left you the money."
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1532 on: April 14, 2010, 10:07:32 AM »
:rofl:
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Online Magz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1533 on: April 14, 2010, 11:24:36 AM »
lol
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1534 on: April 15, 2010, 07:18:12 AM »
A city slicker shoots a duck out in the country. As he's retrieving it, a farmer walks up and stops him, claiming that since the duck is on his farm, it technically belongs to him. After minutes of arguing, the farmer proposes they settle the matter "country style."

"What's country style?" asks the city boy.

"Out here in the country," the farmer says: "when two fellers have a dispute, one feller kicks the other one in the balls as hard as he can. Then that feller, why, he kicks the first one as hard as he can. And so forth. Last man standin' wins the dispute."

Warily the city boy agrees and prepares himself. The farmer hauls off and kicks him in the groin with all his might. The city boy falls to the ground in the most intense pain he's ever felt, crying like a baby and rolling around on the ground. Finally he staggers to his feet and says: "All right, n-now it's–it's m-my turn."

The farmer grins: "Forget it, you win. Keep the duck."


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1535 on: April 15, 2010, 08:32:10 AM »
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1536 on: April 16, 2010, 10:36:53 AM »
Three guys are debating who has the best memory. The first guy says: "I can remember the first day at elementary school."

The second guy says: "I can remember my first day at nursery school!"

Not to be outdone, the third guy says: "That's nothing! I can remember going to the senior prom with my father, and coming home with my mother."
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1537 on: April 16, 2010, 10:44:04 AM »
his mom was whore!
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Offline Hefe

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1538 on: April 16, 2010, 11:25:12 AM »
A Letter To Jessie James
You Stupid Bastard!  You cheated on Sandra Bullock?
How in the world can you be so stupid?  You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has a body to die for and her current wealth shadowed only by Oprah. Your wife, recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now named "America's Sweetheart." You also remember, she just won an Oscar and praised you up and down in front of the world while you were porkin’ away.You are really a piece of work!  You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet! How can you live with yourself!
 
I only have one thing to say to the despicable, miserable, cheating piece of shit that you are:
 Thanks for taking the heat off of me. Let’s do lunch.
 
 ~Tiger
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1539 on: April 16, 2010, 11:33:04 AM »
:rofl:
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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1540 on: April 16, 2010, 02:27:11 PM »
Quote from: Hefe on April 16, 2010, 11:25:12 AM
A Letter To Jessie James
You Stupid Bastard!  You cheated on Sandra Bullock?
How in the world can you be so stupid?  You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world. She has a body to die for and her current wealth shadowed only by Oprah. Your wife, recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now named "America's Sweetheart." You also remember, she just won an Oscar and praised you up and down in front of the world while you were porkin’ away.You are really a piece of work!  You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet! How can you live with yourself!
 
I only have one thing to say to the despicable, miserable, cheating piece of shit that you are:
 Thanks for taking the heat off of me. Let’s do lunch.
 
 ~Tiger


bawhahahahahah
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Offline Spider/Paleface513

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1541 on: April 16, 2010, 03:49:19 PM »
An elderly couple, in their 80's, went to a sex therapist's office and asks the doctor to watch them have sex. The doc is so amazed at such an elderly couple wanting sexual advise that he agrees. After watching them, the doc says, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have sex." He charges them $50 and they go on their way. The couple returns the next week and again asked the doc to watch them have sex. After several weeks of this, the doc finally asked the couple what they wanted him to find out. The old man replies, "we're not trying to find out anything. I'm married, so we can't go to my house, she's married so we can't go to her house. The Holiday Inn charges $98, the Hilton charges $139. We do it here for $50 and Medicare pays $43 of it, leaving me only $7 to pay. & since u r a doctor, its confidential!

I MADE U SMILE
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1542 on: April 16, 2010, 05:31:12 PM »
:lol: awesome!
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Offline Peelz

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1543 on: April 16, 2010, 06:16:33 PM »
LMAO spidey
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Offline Krandall

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Re: Post some good jokes here!!!!
« Reply #1544 on: April 19, 2010, 07:59:14 AM »
Susan called her insurance company one day after her barn burned down and said: "We had our barn insured for $50,000 and I want my money."

The agent replied: "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Susan replied: "If that’s the case, then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband."
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